


When?

by Married2MyPhone



Category: Mean Girls - Richmond/Benjamin/Fey
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gay, Hurt/Comfort, Lesbian Character, Memory Loss
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:07:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 31,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24623692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Married2MyPhone/pseuds/Married2MyPhone
Summary: What if one day, you wake up and no longer remember the last four years of your life? This was a question Janis never thought of in her life until the very question happened to her.Loosely Based of off The Vow (2012)
Relationships: Cady Heron/Janis Sarkisian, Damian Hubbard & Janis Sarkisian, Karen Smith/Gretchen Wieners, Regina George/Janis Sarkisian
Comments: 5
Kudos: 35





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally written in my Wattpad account, but I decided to put it here. The only difference is that I used a different ship there, but since I like broadway and gay shit, I decided to convert this into gay Mean Girls. I tried my best to change anything that made anyone out of character and the timeline is a bit different, but it shouldn't be too much of a big deal.

Her head ached as she felt the light shining onto her eyes. Everything hurt, but it all came down to her head. Her arm felt uncomfortable but she couldn't bring herself to move. Opening her eyes was a completely different task because it felt like she had to use every muscle in her body just to try and open them. She could barely make out the muffled voices around her, focusing on getting her eyes open and it felt like all the energy was sucked from her just by doing that simple task. "Don't crowd her, she's going to need some time to adjust." She managed to make out those words out of all the voices before she was finally able to open her eyes.

It was bright and she had half a mind to close her eyes again and simply let her body drift into sleep from how exhausted she felt. Once she managed to adjust her eyes, she looked around, trying to process her surroundings as her breathing picked up. A hospital. It didn't take a genius to know that a hospital was where she was considering the white walls, the beeping monitor that rang in her ears and the woman that stood in front of her wearing scrubs. "Ms. Sarkisian?" The woman asked and Janis looked up to her, the only thing coming from her what a whine because it was all her body managed to get out from her in that moment.

"You're in a hospital, you were in an accident, but you're okay." The woman explained in a calm voice as Janis looked down to examine herself, taking notice of the iv in her arm and some bruises on it before looking back to the woman who was standing next to two people. One, she recognized perfectly. Tall with an air of energy along with brown hair and bright blue eyes. It'd take a lot to forget someone as bubbly as Damian Hubbard. The person next to him, not so much. Their eyes met and her eyes softened, a smile breaking out on their face as they slowly approached them, crouching down next to Janis' bed and holding her hand and lightly kissing the back of it.

"We're so glad you're awake." Janis looked down at their intertwined hands in confusion, only then noticing the ring on her finger. She looked back up at her in question, trying her best to search her mind on who that girl could be. The dark haired girl looked back up to Damian who seemed close to crying after finally seeing her best friend awake after so long. "Hi." Damian croaked out, approaching Janis as well. "Ms. Sarkisian, how are you feeling?" The woman asked making Janis look back up to her. "My head hurts." She mumbled, but the woman seemed to understand, nodding her head and sending her a smile. "That's normal in your case. Let me just get you something to help with that." She said before leaving the room.

"You don't understand how happy I am to see you awake." A hand reached up to cup Janis' face, but the girl moved back, staring at them with a look of confusion making both her and Damian frown. "Janis, what's wrong?" Damian asked, concern evident in his tone making Janis turn back to the stranger next to her. "I... I don't..." Janis said, trying to find her words, analyzing the girl as hard as she could, but it only made her headache worsen. "I don't know you." Janis managed to speak out, slipping her hand away from hers as it made its way to grip her head which felt like it was collapsing. Her words hung in the air as everyone came to a standstill. The stranger stood up, shock and sadness written all over her face as she let out a sigh, shaking her head and taking a few steps back. 

"I... I'm gonna call the doctor." She said, running a hand through their hair as they made their way towards the door. "Hey-" Damian called out, but they spun around, tears threatening to spill from her eyes as they tried to control their breathing. "I just... I need a moment." Janis flinched at the sound of the door shutting, making her head start pounding at the sound. "Janis, do you know who I am?" Damian asked in worry, turning to Janis who nodded her head as softly as she could. "Yes. You're Damian, we've been best friends since Freshman year, how could I forget?" The raven haired girl answered with a tired sigh and Damian looked at her with sad eyes. "Then why don't you recognize her?" He asked carefully and Janis closed her eyes, trying her best to remember who she was, but nothing.

"Janis, that was Cady. She's your fiancée." Damian said and Janis shook her head, opening her eyes and looking back to the unfamiliar ring on her finger, fiddling with it as if doing that would give her answers to her questions. "No." She said while shaking her head. "Janis..." Damian said as the girl dropped her hands. "No. I don't know her. How could I be engaged to her if I don't even know her?" Janis asked in a frustrated tone. "Come on, Janis. You have to remember her, you've been dating for a year now." Damian said, making Janis' eyes widen. "One year and we're already getting married?" Janis asked in disbelief, eyes wide in shock. "You said she was the one, it's why you said yes to her in the first place." Damian tried to explain, but all the information was coming from one ear and out the other with Janis.

"Where's Regina?" Janis asked and Damian sighed, looking down to his hands. "She should be here. Why isn't she here?" Janis asked before wincing, hand shooting up to her head making Damian stand up, eyeing the girl in concern. "Are you okay?" He asked, barely over a whisper. "What do you think, Damian? I wake up feeling like shit and now I find out I'm engaged with some girl that I don't even know after dating for only a year?" Janis asked as she rubbed her temples. The doors to her hospital room opened and in came Cady who seemed like he was more calmed down, but still pretty stressed along with the doctor who was with them awhile ago. "Alright, Ms. Sarkisian, I have the medicine for your headaches right here." The woman said, handing Janis a pill and a bottle of water.

"Thank you." She said, putting the pill in her mouth and drinking water, scrunching up her face in disgust after swallowing. "I've been informed that you don't remember some things. Can you please tell me what the last thing you remembered was?" The doctor asked and Janis nodded, searching for her brain for any memory before finding one that cut off with a blank. "I was in a bakery picking up some food before going home after work and my phone rang. Regina was calling me, so I picked up the phone and... That's it. That's the last thing I remember." Janis said and the stranger, who Janis now learned was Cady, sighed at the words. "Alright, now, can you tell me when this was?" The doctor asked patiently and Janis tried to search her mind once more.

"Um, it was my first year working, so... Twenty-three. I'm twenty-three, or- Was, twenty-three, I'm assuming?" Janis asked, looking up to the three with a hesitant look and Damian and Cady just looked shocked at the words. "So... I'm not?" Janis asked before another spike of pain shot through her head. "Twenty-three... She hasn't even met me yet, of course she... Oh my god, she doesn't..." Cady rambled in disbelief before going up to Janis. "There-There has to be something, right? You remember when we were at the boat house?" She asked in a desperate tone. "I-I don't-" Janis tried to reply, but the pain in her head made it hard for her to think, "Or how about when we visited that antique shop?" Cady asked and Janis took a deep breath as the room started to spin.

"Okay, Ms. Heron, I think we need to give Ms. Sarkisian some time to rest. She's been asleep for almost three months now, so it's going to be hard for her to-" It was then that Janis' brain decided to tune in, making her look up in shock. "T-Three months? Wh-What happened to me?" Janis asked and Damian sighed. "You were walking down the street on your way home with me after going out and suddenly a car made a sharp turn and ran into us." He explained, lightly wincing to himself as he recurred the memory. "Are you okay?" Janis asked and Damian nodded with a smile on his face. "We were both pretty busted up. Apparently you hit your head really hard against a streetlight when I just slid across the ground, but still..." Damian said. 

"The guy even had the nerve to drive off without doing anything." Cady spoke up. "If it wasn't for this kind old lady who saw what happened, who knows what would've happened." She continued in a frustrated tone before kneeling next to Janis' bed once more and taking her hand in hers. "I could've lost you." Cady said, her voice cracking which made Janis frown. "We managed to find the guy. Apparently he was drunk and the car wasn't even his." Damian explained and Janis nodded. "I think it's best if Ms. Sarkisian got some rest for now." The doctor said and Damian and Cady turned to her, hesitating for a moment before leaving the room after bidding Janis a good bye. She sighed, leaning further into her bed and closing her eyes as her body relaxed.

The medicine was definitely doing it's job. Her head still ached, but it wasn't like the searing pain she felt earlier when she woke up. It was all so... Surreal. One moment she was getting ready to go home to Regina and the next, she suddenly wakes up in a hospital after being in a coma for three months and engaged to some stranger. What year was it even? How much had changed? It only made Janis' head ache more. A memory then appeared in her mind. It was when Janis was making breakfast in her shared apartment with Regina when the girl walked up to her, wrapping her arms around her waist and placing soft kisses on her neck like she always did in the morning.

What happened to that? They've been dating for five years now, but suddenly she's engaged to this girl after one year of dating? Janis and Regina decided to put off getting married for such a long time despite being together for so many years seeing as they were so young, but what changed? How could she just marry someone after dating them for a year? It wasn't like her. Or was it? What year was it even? How old was she? It was all so confusing that Janis didn't even notice that she had drifted off to sleep in the midst of all the thinking.   
___________

It's been a week since Janis woke up from her coma. Apparently it was 2020 now which was bizarre for her. She can't believe that four years have passed by and she didn't even know it. So many things have changed and there were times where Janis felt like bursting into tears knowing how much she's missed, except she didn't miss anything. She's lived through all of that, she just doesn't remember any of it. Somehow that thought only made it worse for her. The rest of her friends came around to visit her when she woke up along with her family, but there were also people she didn't know at all. It was hard to be met with the crying faces of people she didn't know pulling her into hugs and saying how much they've missed her.

It was exhausting, especially when they tried helping her remember things. Seeing Cady was hard as well because, apparently, she was the one for her. She was the apparent love of her life who she was supposed to get married to four weeks before the accident and she didn't even remember anything about her. It pained her seeing the absolute hurt in her eyes and she knew that her not remembering would also be hard on her, but it was all so confusing. Yet, she was patient with her and tried her best, but no matter how many times she was told about their romantic times together and how much they loved each other, all she saw was the face of a stranger, not someone who she was gonna spend the rest of her life with.

A knock on the door broke Janis out of her daze. The door opened and in came in Damian who sent her a small smile which Janis returned, her smile more tired, but it was still there. "Hey... How're you feeling?" Damian asked, standing in front of Janis' bed, giving the girl some space after having to deal with more people she didn't remember. The bruises and stitches on Janis' body were starting to heal and fade and it was only a matter of time before Janis would be discharged from the hospital. "Tired." She said and the boy nodded. "Long day?" He asked and the dark haired girl let out a humorless laugh. "You have no idea." She muttered making Damian's eyes soften. "Well... Are you up for one more visitor?" He asked, walking over to the door while Janis let out a sigh.

"Damian, I don't think that's a good idea. I'm already so worn out having to face a bunch of people who just don't seem to process that I don't remember them and I don't want to have to deal with anymore of that right now." Janis said, rubbing her eyes with her index finger and thumb as she felt another headache start to appear. "Just one last person." Damian insisted and Janis shook her head. "No, Damian." She said in a stern voice. "I'm done. Whoever it is, you can tell them to come tomorrow, I am not seeing anyone else today." Janis said, resting her face against her hand. The sound of someone clearing their throat caught Janis' attention, making her look up and it felt like her whole world had stopped. Her headache seemed to fade as her eyes studied the features on the face of the person in front of her. "I could just come back tomorrow if you want." She said in an awkward tone, snapping Janis out of her daze.

"No!" She exclaimed, eyes widening before realizing she had raised her voice. "I mean..." She trailed off, still trying to gather her thoughts as she stared at the woman who seemed a little bit older than she last remembered her to be. "You can stay." Janis managed to say through her trance and Damian smiled, leaving the room so the two could be alone. Regina walked forward, grabbing one of the chairs and sitting down in front of Janis' hospital bed, resting her elbows on her knees as she looked down to the ground, trying to find anything to say, feeling uncomfortable as she felt Janis' gaze on her. "Um... How're you feeling?" The blonde asked, looking up at Janis who gaped at her before letting out a laugh. "God, if I had a dollar for the amount of time's I've heard that stupid phrase." Regina let out a laugh, shaking her head and facing the girl who looked at her with soft eyes.

Regina cleared her throat, pursing her lips as she fiddled with her hands, trying to find the right words to say. "Your hair's shorter." Janis said, a smile making its way onto her face and Regina looked up in confusion before realizing something. "Ah, yeah. I decided to keep it short a few years back." Regina explained, gesturing to her hair. It was silent between the two. Regina didn't know what to say while Janis thought that there wasn't anything that needed to be said. For the first time since she woke up, she had finally felt sure about something after being surrounded by all these strange things that she didn't know about. "I'm sorry I didn't visit sooner. It just felt weird if I did, but I knew I had to come here at some point." Regina explained and Janis sent her a smile.

"It's okay. As long as you're here with me." Janis said and Regina''s eyes widened before she let out the breath she didn't realize she was holding. "Wow, you really did lose your memory, huh?" She asked, trying to fill the awkwardness in her body with humor. Janis frowned, staring at the girl who was usually so open with her look so guarded. "What happened?" Janis asked and Regina looked at her, trying to hide the sadness in her eyes, but Janis could always see through them. "What happened with what?" The blonde asked, trying to play dumb because she wasn't ready to have the conversation she knew she would have to have with the girl once she found out that Janis had lost her memory. "With us?" The dark haired girl asked, making Regina sigh, looking away in order to avoid the dark eyes staring her way.

"I don't think that's a story you'd want to hear now." Regina said, only making Janis' frown grow. "I mean, just like you said, it's been a long day and I don't want to lay all that stuff on you when you're still recovering." Regina explained and Janis shook her head at the words. "I want to know." Janis said, but Regina continued to avoid her eyes. "After finding out that I've been in a coma for three months and that I've lost all memory of the past four years, the only constant thing I've been asking myself is what happened between us." Janis added, continuing when Regina didn't speak. "We were so happy. The moments we shared together were the happiest moments in my life, I refuse to believe that all of that was thrown away. I just don't understand, it doesn't make sense." Janis said frustratedly.

Regina sighed, her leg bouncing as the thoughts ran through her mind before finally facing Janis. "You're right. We were so happy." Regina spoke up making all of Janis' attention go to her. "But that was exactly it. We were happy and we continued to be happy until we weren't." She explained, taking a deep breath to control her emotions that were threatening to spill out while Janis furrowed her eyes in confusion. "It got really hard after awhile. It started small. You'd get mad that I didn't close the door after leaving the room. I'd get mad that you left the tupperware out after eating." Regina said with a laugh as her eyes started stinging from the tears.

"But then it just got worse and worse and worse." She continued, her voice sounding tired as she recounted all the memories. "All we did was fight. Not a moment passed by where we didn't find something to fight about and suddenly those little fights weren't so little anymore. They started becoming personal and we'd say things we didn't mean but couldn't take back." Regina said, wiping at her eyes and taking a moment to think to herself while Janis stared down to herself in shock. "So..." Regina stopped, looking up to meet the girl's eyes that wanted answers, but were afraid of what the answers could be. "So we broke up." The blonde said with a sigh and Janis felt her heart clench at the words. "We decided that it wasn't working out and broke up on mutual terms. You moved out, went back to live with Winter for awhile and we went our separate ways." Regina said, wiping at her eyes and taking a moment to recollect herself before getting up.

"I should go." She said, putting the chair back where she got it from while Janis' eyes widened. "What? No." The girl said, making Regina shake her head. "No, really. You're probably exhausted by now and you need some rest." She said as she headed for the door. "Regina, please." Janis pleaded and the girl stopped once she opened the door. She stood there, thinking to herself while Janis silently begged the girl to stay, but she shook her head. "Get well soon, Janis." Then she left. Janis leaned back and stared at the door where Regina last stood. It didn't make sense. They fought so much that they broke up? No, that couldn't be true. They fought all the time when they were together, but nothing was enough to separate them. They were stronger than that, Janis knows it. It just couldn't be.

Damian was getting some drinks from the vending machine when he noticed a familiar figure walking down the halls while wiping at their eyes. "Regina?" Damian asked the girl who walked past him, seemingly not hearing his words or simply ignoring him. "Regina!" Damian called out, running towards the girl who had no intention of stopping. "Regina, wait!" Damian exclaimed, running past her and stopping in front of her which made Regina be forced to stop in her tracks. "What happened? Why are you crying?" Damian asked and Regina shook her head, trying to walk around the taller boy who continued to block her path. "Nothing, okay? Nothing happened. Just remembered some bad stuff, but that's it." Regina explained, trying to calm herself down.

"Regina, what's wrong? What did you two talk about?" Damian asked, but Regina stayed silent, looking up at the ceiling in order to stop the tears from falling. "Did you guys talk about why you broke up?" He asked and Regina sighed, nodding her head in a frustrated matter. "Yes, we did. She asked what happened and I told her what happened, that's it." Regina said impatiently, making a move to keep walking, but Damian didn't let her. "Regina, what did you say?" Damian asked. "I told her that we fought so much that we broke up." Regina said, feigning confidence when she was ready to just burst which made Damian send her a sad look. "What? It's true." Regina said with furrowed eyebrows, not knowing who she was really telling those words to, Damian or herself? "You and I both know that it was more than that." Damian said in a scolding tone and Regina scoffed, taking the chance to walk past the boy who continued to follow her.

"Doesn't matter. Janis lost four years worth of memories, she doesn't need any of that right now." Regina said. "She deserves to know the truth, Regina. She needs to know what really happened and-" Regina interrupted Damian by abruptly stopping and turning around. "No, she doesn't!" Regina exclaimed, making Damian step back in shock while Regina closed her eyes and controlled her breathing. "Janis moved on. She's happy, she's living a better life and she's better off not knowing all that shit that happened between us. I know she felt bad after what happened and I know that I've been holding her back cause she still feels guilty, but all I want is for her to be happy. If Cady makes her happy, then so be it. She doesn't need to be held back, and now I have the opportunity to fully let her move on." Regina said sadly.

"You don't get to decide what Janis wants and needs, Regina." Damian said and Regina sighed at the words, knowing that the boy was right, but things would be better off if Janis didn't know. "I'll visit again soon." And with that, Damian watched as Regina walked away.


	2. Chapter 2

"Here we are." Janis looked around at the big house. It was beautiful, but completely different from the old apartment she and Regina had. It was like entering it for the first time and it was all so confusing. Pictures on the wall with people she's never met and events she doesn't remember being a part of. The doctor told her she needed to get re-accustomed to her daily routine, and they decided it would be best if she went back with Cady in case something would get triggered for her memories to come back. "So? How'd you like it?" Cady asked Janis with a smile as she leaned against the counter. "It's a very beautiful home." Janis said, continuing to look around.

"Well, you did choose it." Cady said and Janis looked back at her with surprise in her eyes. "I did?" She asked and Cady's smile softened. "Yeah. We were out house hunting and none of the other houses just felt right to you. Until we were shown this house and I guess something just clicked inside of you, because the moment we stopped looking around, you told the sales lady that we would buy it." Cady said with a laugh, looking back fondly at the memory while Janis listened, trying to process everything, nothing coming back to her even with the story. "I guess I'll get dinner ready." Cady said when Janis remained silent, going into the kitchen and opening some drawers.

"Want me to make your favorite?" Cady asked and Janis turned around to face her. "Is my favorite still the same?" Janis asked and Cady paused for a second before letting out an awkward laugh. "Um, it depends. How do you feel about chicken alfredo?" Cady asked and Janis stayed silent and the brunette pursed her lips. "Not a fan?" She asked and Janis' head shot up. "No, no, no! It's just... I don't remember ever trying chicken alfredo before." Janis said and Cady nodded. "Well, it wouldn't hurt to try new things. If you loved it before, you could love it again now." Cady said, a double meaning hidden in her words as she started getting the ingredients for the dish.

"Um, our room is upstairs, second door to the right." Cady called out and Janis nodded, slowly walking around as she continued to take everything in. It was all so odd for her, to be told that this was her home when she felt so out of place with everything. She climbed up the stairs and looked around each room. There was a home gym, a movie room, an office, god, how well off were they? Janis used to remember having to work two part time jobs just to pay the bills ever since her falling out with her dad. She guesses that they fixed things in the time she didn't remember since her father did come to visit her at the hospital and everything seemed fine. The dark haired girl finally entered the room, looking around at the big room.

What did she do for a living? Everyone kept telling her stories about themselves that she never really knew anything else about her. Maybe she found a really good job and that's why it looked like she was financially stable. Her eyes landed on a work desk filled with notebooks and messy papers. It looks like they've been untouched for awhile. Janis sat down in the chair, looking down at all the papers littered across it. Mostly scribbles and doodles, but there were also a lot of sketches notes here and there. There were also books in a case leaning against the wall and those were the only things that looked familiar to her because it was all her favorite books except for a select few.

At least her taste in literature didn't change. Her eyes fell on a picture frame. It was a picture of her with Cady, the smaller girl laughing while Janis had her arms around her neck, kissing her on the cheek. It only made her head start to ache. All of it was so unfamiliar. Coming home to an unfamiliar home with someone she considers a stranger was too overwhelming. She just wanted to go home. Whether it be with Damian or with Regina, Janis didn't care. She just wanted to be with something familiar to her. "Janis?" The sound of footsteps coming up the stairs made Janis' head start to pound from the noise. "Janis?" The door opened, but the girl couldn't focus on anything rather than the pain in her head.

"Janis, hey." Cady said, going over to Janis and kneeling beside her, wrapping her arms around the girl who flinched at the touch which made her pull back before hesitantly placing her hands on the girl's shoulder. "What's wrong? Do you want me to get your medicine?" Cady asked softly and Janis nodded, rubbing her eyes and gripping the side of her head. "Yeah, that'd be great right now." She said and Cady got up, getting out the room to get the pills for Janis' headache. The girl sighed, opening her eyes and looking around, desperately trying to search for something that would give her some answers, but it was all just nothing. "Here." Cady said as she went back into the room, handing Janis her medicine along with a glass of water.

"Are you okay?" She asked while Janis downed the pill, scrunching up her face as she drank her water, making Cady laugh. "What?" The taller girl asked curiously when she laughed. "Oh. It's just... You really do hate taking any medicine, huh?" She asked and the girl smiled. "At least that's something I'm familiar with." Janis said with a humorless laugh making Cady frown as she leaned against the desk. "Do you need anything else?" The brunette asked and Janis sighed, shaking her head. "You know, I think I'm just gonna skip dinner tonight." Janis said, her voice tired as she just wanted all the questions to stop, even just for a moment. "You sure?" Cady asked sadly and Janis nodded, looking up to him with a smile.

"Yeah. I'm sorry I didn't get to try your chicken alfredo." Janis said with an apologetic look and Cady nodded with a sigh, running her hand through her already messy hair. "Well, I'm already done. We can have it for lunch tomorrow." Cady said, leaning down and kissing Janis on the cheek which almost made the girl jump back from the action. "Goodnight, Cady." She said before walking to the door. "Goodnight, Cady." Janis called out which made the girl stop and turn to her. "What?" Janis asked in confusion, but Cady simply shook her head. "Nothing." Was all Cady said before leaving the room. She knew it was also hard for her, and she didn't want to hurt her, but she just didn't know how. If she could just remember everything again, things would be better. But a part of her didn't know if she would like to remember, especially since Regina told her that they used to fight all the time.

Janis sighed once more before getting up from her desk and going over to the bed, kicking off her shoes, too tired to change as she laid down and fell asleep. She woke up that day, almost screaming when she didn't know where she was until she remembered the events of last night. Right. This was her home now. Janis went over to what she assumed was her closet and picked out some clothes. Her fashion sense seemed like it changed as well, so she settled on a t-shirt and some shorts since it was the only thing she felt comfortable in out of any of the clothes in her wardrobe. Janis went out the door, walking down the stairs to see Cady sitting at the table, drinking coffee while scrolling through his phone.

"Hey." Janis said and Cady looked up in shock before slowly getting up from her seat. "Hey..." She said hesitantly, not really knowing what to say while Janis walked to the kitchen. "How'd you sleep last night?" She asked and Janis hummed, opening a drawer and closing it when she didn't find what she needed. "Okay. The bed was comfortable and easy to sleep in." She said and Cady nodded, watching Janis look through all the cupboards and closing them before finally finding the one with the glasses in them. She took a cup and poured herself a glass of juice which was on the table before sitting down across from Cady who sat back down in her chair.

"So... What do I usually do? Do I have a routine or?" Janis asked, determined to make use of the day by finding answers to her questions. "Oh!" Cady said in shock before pausing to think. "Well, you usually eat breakfast with me, so, here." Cady said, getting up and getting a plate from the cupboards and setting it in front of Janis. "I made pancakes and some eggs and bacon. If you want some toast, just tell me and I'll make some." Cady said and Janis nodded. "Thank you." She said, sending the girl a smile before taking a pancake as she started eating. "Then you usually sit down and either read a book or watch something on Tv." Cady said and Janis nodded before looking up at him.

"What do I do for work?" She asked and Cady paused for a second. "You don't work, Janis." Cady said, making Janis' eyes widen. "I don't work?" She asked in shock and Cady nodded in reply. "But what about my gallery? What happened to that?" Janis asked, unable to believe that she just stayed at home. "Well, from what you told me, you had to get rid of the gallery since you didn't have the funds to keep it going. Then, you moved to the city and got a job as a graphic designer. We actually met at the company you got hired in," Cady started as Janis stared down at the table, trying to process everything, "Then you told me you got tired of working and you just wanted to take time for yourself since you're always so tired, so you stay here." Cady and Janis shook her head, already feeling a headache start to build. 

"You usually draw or paint here and there and you go out for walks or bike rides. You wanted the freedom to do what you want without the responsibility, that's why you quit." Cady explained and Janis sighed, burying her face in her hands before shaking her head, not wanting to hear anymore. "Alright. Okay, so I don't work." She said, trying to say the words out loud to make herself get used to the face while Cady looked down sadly. "Um, speaking of work..." Cady said, making Janis look up. "I actually have to head in to work right now." Cady said and Janis nodded her head. "Here," She said as she got up, going to the living room and opening a cabinet before taking out a phone.

"This is your new phone. Your old one got busted up in the accident, but I got you a new one. There's no password, so you can set that up yourself and all my numbers are here so in case you need anything, you can just call." Cady said and Janis nodded, opening the phone and scrolling around to see the usual pre-installed apps inside. "Thanks." She said and Cady nodded at her with a smile. "Okay. So, I'll see you later." Cady said, pausing for a moment before simply waving at the girl, taking her car keys and a jacket before leaving the house. Janis leaned back in her chair, looking up at the ceiling and thinking about how bizarre this whole situation was. "How could I just stop working?" She mumbled to herself before sighing.  
__________

Janis found herself wandering the streets of the city, looking around at the unfamiliar buildings and admiring the sights. It was all very pretty and she figured that she should know everything about the city by now, but it all felt new. New wasn't necessarily a bad thing, Janis liked trying new things, but she didn't like the thought of losing her memory and having to try everything again. Deciding that she should head back, Janis turned around and started making her way back... Until she realized she didn't know how to get back. She had been walking around mindlessly for the past twenty minutes now that she didn't realize that she wasn't keeping track of where she was going.

"Crap." She muttered to herself before reaching into her pocket, only to feel nothing. Great. She forgot to bring the phone Cady gave her. Now what was she going to do? Janis continued to walk around, trying to see if she could remember which way she came from, only for her to go deeper into the city and become more and more lost as she went on. She sighed before entering a little cafe. Janis went up to the counter and the barista gave her a wide smile. "Hi, how can I help you today?" She asked and Janis gave her a smile. "I'm sorry, but do you have a phone I could use? I'm lost and I left mine at home." Janis asked and the girl nodded.

"Okay, sure." She said, eyeing the girl curiously before taking out her phone and handing it to her. Janis thanked the girl before typing in one number that she knew by heart. The dark haired girl just hoped that the number was still the same after all these years. "Hey... So I'm kind of lost and I don't know where I am and you're the only person I could call." Janis said, nodding to the sound of the person on the other line. "I'm at a cafe called Hugs and Mugs." Janis said and there was a pause in the line before they answered. "I'll be there fifteen minutes top." Janis smiled and said goodbye before hanging up and handing the phone back to the barista. "Thanks, again." Janis said and the barista nodded.

"Is there anything else you need?" She asked and Janis hummed, looking down at the display of all the pastries and baked goods. "I'll have... One of these." Janis said, pointing over to a pastry that she thought looked good and the barista looked at her with a shocked expression. "You don't want the usual?" She asked, making Janis look at her with a surprised expression. "I have a usual?" She asked mostly to herself, trying to think why she had a usual at a cafe so far away from where she and Cady lived. "Actually, that'd be great. I'll have the usual." Janis said and the barista nodded, preparing Janis' 'usual'. Janis waited outside the cafe after the barista gave her a croissant and black coffee. Soon enough, a car pulled up at the front of the cafe and the window rolled down to show Regina who sent her a small smile. 

"Get in." She said and a grin made its way onto Janis' face before she got up and entered the car. "Croissant and coffee." Regina said, taking notice of what Janis was eating. "Yup. Apparently I'm a regular at that cafe." Janis said as she continued eating. "Really?" Regina asked in slight amusement as she started driving. "Yup. Though I get why I would order this so much, it's so good." Janis gushed as she continued eating. "Yeah, you really did love that place." Retina said with a laugh, making Janis look up at her in shock. "What?" Regina asked, glancing at Janis curiously when she continued to stare. "You know that I would always go there?" Janis asked and a sad smile appeared on Regina's face as she nodded in reply. 

"Yeah. Went there every morning before heading off to work." Regina explained and Janis leaned back into her seat with furrowed eyebrows. "Weird. I don't remember us living here." Janis said, looking back to her old apartment with Regina. "We, uh, moved places a little while after I got a new job." Regina explained. "Oh, you're not in fashion anymore?" Janis asked in shock and Regina let out a laugh. "No, I still am. But, you know how it was before. The place I worked at wasn't doing any good, and I got a job offer in a different city, so we got a new apartment and moved here." Regina explained and Janis nodded. "How's the new job?" Janis asked and a smile made its way on Regina's face. "It's great. I have better hours and the pay's not bad. Definitely much better than that old place." Regina said and the girl nodded once more. 

"What about me?" Janis asked and Rrgina smiled sadly at the thought. "Took you awhile. Went through a lot of job interviews and a lot of them didn't work out, but it only made you work more. Until one day, you got a small job at this big shot magazine company and slowly, you worked your way to one of the top positions." Regina explained making Janis look at her in surprise. "Really?" She asked with a smile and Regina nodded. "Yeah. I remember just sitting with you while watching a movie and you got a phone call. You could not stop jumping once you found out you got the job and it was one of the happiest I've ever seen you." Regina said, making Janis smile at the thought. "That sounds really great." Janis said mostly to herself, imagining the scene in her head and for once, it felt right with her. "It was. We were both back on our feet and life was good." Janis nodded at the words before her eyes lit up. 

"Where's Cleo?" She asked and Regina grinned. "I knew you were gonna ask that at one point. That dog was basically your child." Regina said and Janis smiled. "Well, of course. Oh, I wonder how big she's gotten." Janis said fondly. "Cleo's at my place. You, um..." Regina paused, thinking to herself and deciding if she should continue her sentence. "I what?" Janis asked and Regina sighed. "When we broke up, we decided that Cleo should stay with me cause we didn't want her to change environments since she was already so used to the apartment." Regina explained and Janis nodded to herself. "Can I see her?" Janis asked and Regina glanced at her curiously. "You want to?" She asked and Janis nodded. "Yeah. I just want to be around something I'm already used to and I miss our dog, so I think it'll be good for me." Janis said and Regina hesitantly nodded. "Alright." Regina said before taking a u-turn.

Soon enough they arrived at an apartment with brick walls and a perfect view of the city. "Cleo! Come here, baby, I'm home." Regina said, whistling out and soon, quick footsteps made its way into the room and a large Border Collie dog ran into the room, jumping at Regina and trying to get her attention. "Hello there, baby. You missed me? I was only out for a few minutes." Regina said leaning down and petting the dog before Cleo started barking happily at the sight of Janis, running at the girl who cooed and knelt down, letting the dog jump into her arms as she pet it. "Oh my gosh, you're so big. Aw, did you miss me too?" Janis gushed as the dog started licking her face, making her laugh. 

"Your apartment is so beautiful." Janis said as she stood up, letting her hand continue petting Cleo who followed her as they walked around. "You always said you wanted a perfect view of the city lights whenever the night came." Regina said as she sat down on the couch. "It's perfect." Janis said, looking around in awe before sitting down next to Regina while Cleo followed, jumping onto the couch and resting on the girl's lap. "Exactly what you said when we first found this place." Regina said with a laugh as she leaned back in her seat. "God, what else did I miss?" Janis asked with a sad laugh and she looked down at Cleo, running her hand through the dog's fur. "You don't need to worry about that right now. If you want, I could let you babysit Cleo whenever I'm out." Regina said, making Janis look up at her with a smile. "Really? That would tits!" Janis exclaimed and Regina smiled fondly at the familiar words before the dark haired girl sighed, looking up at the ceiling as she lost herself in thought. 

"See, this is why I don't get it." Janis said, making Regina look at her with a confused expression. "What do you mean?" She asked and Janis scoffed, looking down as she tried to find the words to say. "It's everything I've wanted. Apartment in the city, you finally getting the job you wanted, me finally being in the field I want, the three of us living together without worrying about getting evicted." Janis said and Regina looked down as the girl sighed. "That's why I don't understand. How could we get something as little as fighting everyday, come between us? You make it sound like we were so happy. I wouldn't just throw all that away, that's not me. Why would we just end it off like that?" Janis asked and Regina let out a sigh as she ran her hand through her hair. "You tell me, Janis." She mumbled, but Janis heard it clearly, making her eyebrows furrow.

"What? What does that mean?" Janis asked as Regina let out a breath before getting up. "I think we should get you home. Wouldn't want Cady worrying about where you are." Regina said, going over to the kitchen to grab her keys while Janis carefully lifted Cleo of off her as she followed Regina. "No. There's something you're not telling me and I know it." Janis said and Regina turned around to face the girl. "It's not a big deal." The blonde said and Janis crossed her arms as she narrowed her eyes at the girl. "It is a big deal if I just threw away my dream for some absurd reason." Regina seemed to deflate as the words as she sighed, leaning her arms against the counter and letting her head fall as she stared at the ground, making Janis' eyes soften as she sighed as well. "I'm sorry." She started, hands going up to her head as she took the moment to think. "I didn't mean to get so frustrated." Janis said and Regina shook her head.

"No, it's fine. I get it, it's a hard time for you right now, I don't blame you for wanting answers." Regina said, pushing herself off as Janis buried her face in her hands. "It's all just so frustrating." Janis said and Regina nodded, walking over to the girl. "I know." Regina said and Janis met her in the middle, wrapping her arms around the girl's neck as the blonde sighed, letting herself relax against the girl who reciprocated the hug by wrapping her arms around her torso. "Come on, I'll take you home." Regina said and Janis hummed, burying her head in Regina''s shoulder and relishing in her warmth for a bit. "Okay." She whispered, leaning back when her hand subconsciously went to cup Regina's cheek. The two stopped, a sense of familiarity rushing into them, their faces only a few inches apart before they leaned in, meeting in the middle as their lips connected for a kiss. 

Janis sighed into the kiss as she felt Regina's hands go to her waist until she gently separated them. Realizing what happened, Janis closed her eyes, stepping back as she raised her arms to rub at her eyes while Regina looked down, walking back to the counter where she placed her hands on to keep her steady. "I'm sorry... I didn't mean to. It was from habit." Janis said, opening her eyes to look at Regina who shook her head before pushing herself off the counter and making her way to the door. "It's fine. Let's just go." Regina said and Janis nodded, following the girl out the door as they made their way back to her car. In the short time she's spent with Regina, everything felt right. Like it was all set in place, like that was where she was meant to be. It was all making her more confused than ever and her need for answers only kept growing.


	3. Chapter 3

Cady sighed, her head falling onto her desk as the door to her office opened. "Woah, Cady. What's up?" Cady groaned before lifting her head to face her friend. "Just some stuff at home." The brunette said in a tired tone while Kevin leaned against her desk, placing down a cup of coffee which Cady took with a thankful look. "Is it about Janis?" Kevin asked as he took a sip from his drink. "Of course it's about Janis. I was supposed to marry her a month ago, but now she doesn't even know who I am." Cady said with furrowed eyebrows. "Has she made any progress?" Kevin asked and the girl shook her head. "None. Like, I know it's hard for her to just feel like she missed a big chunk of her life, but it's hard for me too, but I don't want to make any of this about me cause she's the one who got hit by a car. That's selfish and I'd never do that." Cady said.

"Have you two talked about that?" Kevin asked and once again, Cady shook her head. "No. She has enough on her plate, I don't want to make it harder for her by making her worry about me." Cady said, placing her coffee down and leaning back against her chair. "You've got to be honest with her. You always were before, you guys told each other everything, that doesn't have to change." Kevin explained. "I know that, but to her, I'm just a stranger. Janis already has a hard time getting used to new people and even though she's nicer to me since she knows I'm supposed to be her fiancée, she's not just gonna let me in." Cady said and Kevin thought for a moment before turning to his friend.

"Then work for it." He said with a shrug making Cady furrow her eyebrows. "What do you mean?" Once again, the boy shrugged. "You've got to get her to trust you again. Say her memories don't come back-" Kevin was cut off by Cady groaning. "Don't even joke about that." She said. "I'm not! Just, hear me out," Kevin said, sending Cady a look as the girl let out a huff, nodding her head, silently telling her friend to continue. "Say her memories don't come back, you've got to do your best to at least show her that at one point, you two did love each other. She said yes when you asked her to marry you for a reason. All you have to do is be there for her, and no matter how incredibly cheesy this is, just because her mind doesn't remember, doesn't mean her heart doesn't either." Kevin said and Cady sighed.

"God, I hate when you say stuff like this. Now I'm pumped." Cady said and Kevin grinned, going over to his friend and patting her back. "There you go, mama!" Kevin said and Cady let out a laugh, trying to contain the growing smile on her face. "Look, my break's about to end, but why don't you leave early today? Buy Janis her favorite flowers and plan out a day just for the two of you." Kevin said and Cady let herself think for a moment before nodding. "Alright." She said, getting up and leaving her office with Kevin. The brunette did exactly that. She bought flowers from the flower shop near their home and thought of all the things they could do that day. She parked outside of her shared home and was surprised when she was met with the sound of laughter from inside.

She smiled at the sound as she made her way up the porch and entered the house, ready to greet Janis until her eyes landed on her fiancée playing with a large dog. Cady's eyes widened and she was just about to go outside when Janis met her eyes. "Oh, Cady! Here, meet my dog." Janis said excitedly as she led the dog to Cady who smiled awkwardly. "Yeah, I remember you. Cleo, right?" Cady asked as the dog stared up at her with big eyes and Cady had to admit that the dog was cute. "You've met her before?" Janis asked as she knelt down and started petting the dog. "Yeah, once or twice." Cady said and Janis was about to speak up again until she saw the flowers in Cady's hands. "That's a beautiful arrangement." Janis said with a smile and Cady suddenly remembered what she bought them for.

"Right! Yeah, they're for you." Cady said, extending her arm to the dark haired girl who smiled, standing back up and taking the flowers. "They're awesome, thanks." Janis said as she inhaled the scent making Cady smile before she sneezed. "I'm sorry." Cady said, gripping her nose as he went over to the kitchen, washing her face in the sink before getting a paper towel and holding it to her nose. "Are you okay?" Janis asked with a frown of concern. "Yeah, I'm fine, it's just," Cady started, sniffling in the middle of her words as she felt her eyes start to sting, "I'm allergic to dogs." Cady explained and Janis' eyes widened. "Oh no. I'm sorry, I didn't know." Janis said and the brunette shook her head frantically. "No, no, no! It's fine. You always said you missed having her around, so she can stay." Cady said.

"But what about your allergies?" Janis asked and once again, Cady shook her head. "I'll be fine, really." Janis hesitated for a moment before nodding. "I guess we should at least leave her in the backyard. She likes playing in the grass anyway." Janis said, going over to the dining room and opening the sliding door that lead to the backyard, watching as Cleo ran out and began rolling around in the grass. "She is a very sweet dog, though." Cady said as they watched her try and chase a butterfly. "I know. I remember when Regina and I found her at the shelter. She used to be this tiny little thing and now she's almost taller than me." Janis said, smiling fondly at the memory. A sad look appeared in Cady's eyes at the words before she cleared her throat and turned to Janis with a more optimistic smile.

"How do you feel about going out today?" Cady asked and Janis smiled. "I wouldn't mind getting some sun." The dark haired girl said, making Cady grin. "Alright. I'll let you get changed and we can go out." Cady said, making Janis' eyes widen. "Oh, you mean right now?" She asked and the other girl let out a laugh. "If that's not a problem, then yes." Cady said and Janis paused for a moment before nodding her head. "Sure. Let me just put this in some water and I'll go get ready." Janis said, giving Cady one last smile before leaving the room. The girl sighed, leaning against the wall and staring at the ceiling as she thought about all the things they were going to do that day. It was very eventful. Instead of taking a car, Cady decided that it would be fun for the two to bike around. It was peaceful until Janis started an impromptu race to the park which left the two laughing as they parked their bikes and laid down on the grass.

"I won that." Janis said as she caught her breath. "What? No way, I totally got here first." Cady said as she sat up making Janis laugh. "We'll call it a tie." Janis said, sitting up as well. "What next?" She asked as she watched Cady stand up, extending a hand towards her which she took as he helped her up. "I was thinking we could go on a little stroll. We'd always walk around here whenever the two of us would get too stressed from either work or just life in general." Cady said and Janis nodded as they took the bikes and started walking around. Janis looked around at the trees laid across the park as they walked. "I still don't understand why I would give up working like that. Art has always been my passion." Janis said, furrowing her eyebrows while Cady hummed in reply.

"You took on a lot of projects at once, saying that none of them were stuff you were interested in, so you just kept on taking more cause you thought that by doing so, you'd find one you'd actually like. You almost burnt yourself out so I asked to put you on temporary leave and then you decided to just stop working once you actually got the rest." Cady explained making Janis look to her in confusion. "What?" Cady asked once she noticed the look the dark haired girl was giving her. "You said you asked to put me on temporary leave." Janis said and Cady realized what the girl meant. "Did we work together?" Janis asked and Cady shook her head. "No. Well, sort of. We worked at the same company, but you were on the print team while I was with the finance team. That's probably why it was so hard to convince your team lead to put you on leave." She explained. "Huh." Janis said mostly to herself as she processed the information while they continued their walk.

It ended up being a very fun day out for Janis. After the walk, Cady took them out to get some sandwiches then they ended up near a pond where they started feeding ducks. Then Cady started climbing a tree which frightened Janis a bit, but the girl managed to convince her to do the same. They sat on one of the tallest branches and Cady told her stories about their time together before the park manager caught them and they had to go down and run from him to avoid being in trouble. It was all very thrilling and fun, but it also felt too domestic for Janis and it didn't really sit well for her. Though Cady was good company, everything they did were things she pictured herself doing with Regina. Cady was supposed to be her fiancée, but she just couldn't find it in herself to see that happening.

Sure, maybe in another life, Janis could see herself being with Cady, but not in a life where she spent five years of it with Regina, actually, more than five years, but it pains her that she missed the rest of it. When did they even break up? There were still so many questions and Janis just wanted to find answers so she could continue on with her life. But what if she didn't like the answers she'd get? Janis sighed as she watched Cady come back inside their home with an envelope in her hands. "Look what I have." Cady said with a smile as she sat down next to Janis. "What is it?" She asked, eyeing the letter which the girl handed over to her. "I'll let you see for yourself." Cady said and Janis nodded, opening the letter and taking out the card inside. She gasped loudly once she read the words.

"Holy shit!" Janis exclaimed, making Cady laugh at the reaction. "Gretchen and Karen are getting married?" Janis asked and Cady nodded. "And guess what?" She asked, making Janis turn to her. "You're one of Karen's bridesmaids." Cady said and it took Janis a second to process the words before jumping up and down. "Wait." She said, suddenly realizing something. "Why didn't they tell me sooner?" She asked, narrowing her eyes making Cady chuckle. "You can call them and give them an earful if you'd like." Cady asked and the girl nodded, still looking slightly grumpy. "You know what, I actually will." Janis said as she walked out the living room, heading up stairs to get her phone and call the two. Cady sighed after hearing the door to their room close before opening the side desk next to the couch and taking out a frame.

She looked down at the wedding invitation inside, the wedding invitation to what was supposed to be her and Janis' wedding. Even after the day they had, not even one memory popped into Janis' head. Cady knew it wasn't going to be simple. One good day wasn't going to bring everything back, but it was still painful. Though she was determined not to give up on Janis, she wondered if Janis really would remember anything. Cady knew that to Janis, the person she'd prefer to be with in the time of recovering would be Regina, because to her, she was still with Regina. Somewhere deep inside her, Janis loved Cady, but on the surface, her heart was still with Regina and it pained her because it only made her wonder if that was the case when Janis still had her memories. Either way, she just had to keep trying and stay optimistic and believe that she can get the old Janis back, her Janis back.  
__________

Regina rested her head tiredly against her hands, letting out a deep breath before looking back down to her notebook. It was late at night and Regina felt the sleep starting to get to her, but she really needed to finish this soon because her deadline was nearing and she's barely made any progress. Not to mention the fact that she had another project to deal with that's already waiting for her in her drafts. She was so distracted with her work that she didn't even hear Janis get up from bed. "Regina, it's almost two am, go to sleep." Janis said tiredly as she walked over to her girlfriend who let out a sigh. "I can't. I still have a lot of work to do." Regina muttered as she focused back on the new dress she was designing.

"If you sleep at this hour again, you're just gonna be more tired when you wake up which means you'll barely get any work done in the day." Janis said and Regina knew the girl was right, but she just couldn't afford to lose the time she'd be using in sleep when she could be doing more productive things. "I'll be there in a minute, I just need to finish this last design." Regina said and Janis rolled her eyes at how stubborn the girl was being before leaning down and wrapping her arms around the girl's neck, burying her face in her shoulders. "Come to bed." Janis mumbled and Regina sighed. "No, Janis." Regina said, as she continued to focus on her work. "Please." Janis pleaded, lifting her head and kissing Regina's cheek, but the girl wasn't in the mood. "Janis I need to finish this." Regina said and Janis let out a whine, kissing down the girl's face as she moved down to her jaw and onto her neck.

"Come on. For me." Janis said, her hands moving down to Regina's waist making her jump. "No, Janis! I always back down whenever you work late, why can't you do the same?" Regina asked and Janis stopped her movements while Regina rubbed her eyes in frustration. "Alright." She mumbled, retracting her arms and going back to their bed while Regina continued working till the late hours of the night.   
__________

"Babe, you ready?" Janis called out as she placed her hand on the counter to grab her keys until her hands landed on nothing which made her furrow her eyebrows when her hand landed on nothing. "Ready!" Regina called out, walking into the living room only to see that Janis was searching for something in the kitchen. "What's wrong?" Regina asked as Janis crouched down, looking into the lower cabinets. "I can't find my keys." Janis said, closing the cabinet when she couldn't find anything before turning to Regina. "Oh, okay. I'll help you find them." Regina said as she made a move to start looking. "No, no." Janis said, making Regina turn to her in confusion. "I probably just left it in our room or something. We still have forty-five minutes to spare, so it's no big deal." Janis said and Regina furrowed her eyebrows. "But it's a thirty minute drive to the restaurant." She said, making Janis let out a breath of frustration.

"They're keys, Regina. I can find them and we can still arrive on time." Janis said and Regina hesitated before nodding, sitting down on the couch and taking her phone out while Janis went to their room to search for their keys. Many minutes passed by and they were still at the apartment and Janis was still looking. "Let's just call an Uber. We can still get our reservation, we'll just be ten minutes late." Regina said tiredly, getting up while Janis furrowed her eyebrows. "What? No. We literally have a car, we'll just waste money by calling one." Janis said. "It won't matter if we have a car if we're gonna miss the reservation completely." Regina said and Janis let out a huff. "It's here somewhere, I swear." Janis said, continuing to search for her keys. "If you'd just let me help you-"

"They're keys, Regina. It can't be that hard to find." Janis said, making Regina lose her patience. "When will you ever learn when to quit?" Regina asked which made Janis scoff. "Where's this coming from?" She asked. "Oh, I don't know. How about that time you insisted on making the furniture yourself even though I asked you multiple times that we should do it together, only for you to end up in the ER cause you punctured your hand with the nail gun?" Regina asked and Janis looked away. "Or that time when I kept asking you if you set an alarm and you repeatedly told me that you did, only for us to miss our flight to Barcelona." Regina said, stepping forward to Janis who crossed her arms in defense. "Or how about the time when I kept telling you that it was time to go home when you were already so drunk, but no, you said you could go on and you ended up getting your stomach pumped!" Regina exclaimed and Janis rolled her eyes.

"I can't believe you're comparing all of these to me not being able to find the car keys!" Janis shouted. "Oh, so you admit it? You can't find them?" Regina retorted. "Well, I won't be able to if you'd just let me find them instead of shouting at me." Janis said, unknowingly raising her voice. "Oh, so it's my fault now?" Regina asked with a scoff of disbelief. "I never said that! Just let me find them and we can be on our way." Janis said and Regina shook her head, turning around and walking back to the catch to get her phone, turning it on and typing furiously. "I already told you, we don't need an Uber!" Janis said when she saw Regina on her phone. "I'm not getting an Uber." She muttered. "Then what are you doing?" Janus asked. "Cancelling our reservation. We'll miss it by the time we get there, there's no point in going anymore." Regina said, turning off her phone and facing Janis who gaped at her.

"Are you kidding me?" She asked, but Regina held her gaze. "No." She answered simply. "Regina, we haven't had a date night in two months, this was the only time we were both free." Janis said. "If you just let me help, we would've been at the restaurant by now having said date night." Regina said and Janis rolled her eyes. "Fine." Janis said, throwing her hands up. "Fine. You're right, you're always right. Why don't you find the keys, let's see how you'll do." She said and Regina scoffed before starting to look. She checked the coffee table and the bookshelves as Janis watched her. "Not so easy, now is it?" She said snarkily, but Regina ignored her, continuing to look before going to the couch, lifting the cushions and pausing before reaching in and taking out Janis' car keys. Regina walked over to Janis who remained silent, taking her hand and placing the keys aggressively onto it. "Here. You can go on a date with yourself since you're so determined to do everything on your own. I'm going to bed." Regina said angrily, turning around and going to their room. The door slammed shut, the sound ringing in the air as Janis gripped at her hair before throwing the keys.  
__________

Janis opened her eyes, her gaze meeting the ceiling as the dream she had faded away in her mind. The dark haired girl turned to her left, expecting to find Regina there only to find an empty spot. Right, she's not living with her anymore. Cady decided to give her some space, knowing that Janis wasn't ready for that type of intimacy yet as she settled with sleeping in the guest room. That dream. It didn't sit well with her, but she couldn't remember it. She knows she had a dream, it was most likely a memory too which only frustrated the girl more as she took a pillow and hugged it close to her. It took all of her self control not to cry because it was all too much. With each day that passed by, she felt like she was growing more and more restless with the lack of answers. Cady tried her best, but she's been with her for nearly a month now, then there was the wedding and still, nothing. 

All she wanted was some security, something to be sure of when she felt like she was walking blindly.


	4. Chapter 4

Janis got out of the car, looking around at the beautiful house while Cady grabbed the luggage from the back. "This is where Gretchen and Karen live now?" Janis asked in shock as she analyzed the size of the home. "Yeah. You told me that Gretchen got a really good promotion at her job and that Karen's book was a hit." Cady said as she shut the trunk of the car and made her way over to Janis while carrying their bags. "Holy shit, Karen wrote a book?" Janis asked in shock yet also amazement for her friend. "Yeah. You've read it like a bunch of times, we have two copies at home." Cady said and Janis paused, trying to think if she's ever seen the book at their place. "Come on, they're probably waiting for us inside." She smiled and Janis nodded as they made their way to the front door. They walked in and as Cady put the bags down in the hallway, foot steps made their way towards them.

"Janis?" Karen called out as she walked into the hallway, a grin making its way to her face as she ran towards the girl. "I can't believe you're getting married!" Janis exclaimed, running over to meet the blonde in the middle as they wrapped each other into a hug. "Ugh, I know! It's such a dream come true." Karen said as they separated, only for Janis to lightly hit the girl on the shoulder. "Ow! Janis that hurt!" Karen exclaimed as she rubbed her arm. "I still can't believe you didn't tell me sooner, I could've been here earlier for the planning!" Janis said, crossing her arms as Gretchen walked into the room with a smile. "We've been over this already, Janis. You just woke up after being in a coma, we didn't want to overwhelm you." Gretchen said as she sidled up behind Karen and wrapping her arms around her.

"Still. As one of your best friends, I should be the first to know when things like this happen." Janis said and Karen smiled. "Funny, that's exactly what you said when you found out I told Damian first before you." Karen said jokingly, making Janis roll her eyes before they landed on the ring on Karen's hand. "That's one hell of a ring. Let me see." Janis said as Gretchen let go of Karen who walked over to the dark haired girl who took her hand. "Oh, it's beautiful. At least you're marrying someone who has good taste in jewelry." Janis said, making Karen laugh while Gretchen narrowed her eyes. "Oh, please. I'm better at choosing jewelry than you so stop making fun of me, it's my wedding." Gretchen said and Karen laughed before kissing her fiancée on the cheek. "You mean our wedding." Karen said and Gretchen smiled, leaning in to kiss her soon to be wife. Janis watched fondly with a hand over her heart while Cady let out a breath at the sight. It's hard to think that they were supposed to be in the same situation just a few months ago, but she shouldn't think about that now.

"I still don't understand why you guys decided to get married at this time, you guys always wanted to get married in the fall." Janks said as the two separated. Gretchen's eyes softened at the words while Karen gave her a sad smile. "We were actually supposed to get married two months ago, but the accident happened and Karen and I decided to postpone the wedding cause it didn't feel right to have it without you." Gretchen said and Janis' face fell at the words, but Karen let out a light laugh to ease the tension. "Yeah. Who knows what you'd have done if you found out that we got married without you." Karen said and Janis let out a small smile, Gretchen's words lingering in the back of her mind. "But it's alright, though. It may not be the fall wedding we wanted, but Damian's done a good job with all the managing and stuff." Gretchen said as hurried footsteps reached their ears. "Speaking of." Gretchen said in amusement as the boy found himself in the hallway, shouting at a phone that was held close to his ear.

"No! I did not give you the wrong address, I specifically told you where to bring the flowers multiple times... Yes, I would know! Because I repeated it to your no good intern at least seven times just to make sure... Yeah? Well, good luck finding other weddings to host you because I will be leaving very bad reviews for almost ruining this wedding!" Damian shouted before hanging up and letting out a frustrated and tired sigh. "You know what, I think it's best if I didn't do any of the planning." Janis said, making Damian's head shoot up at the sound, turning to the three as his eyes lit up. "Oh thank god, you're here!" Damian said, dashing over to Janis who let out a grunt from how hard Damian impacted against her. "I have been dying over here! I've had to deal with these two being all lovey-dovey for the past two weeks while doing all the work!" Damian said with a groan, wrapping his arms around Janis' neck as the girl scoffed. "As if I'd miss Karen and Gretchen's wedding." Janis said, lazily wrapping her arms around the boy's torso and pulling him closer into the hug.

Cady smiled at the sight of Janis interacting with all her best friends again. She picked up the bags and cleared her throat, grabbing the attention of the four eccentric friends. "I'll get these bags up to the room and give you guys some time alone to catch up." Cady said, sending Janis a smile and the girl nodded back, a small smile on her face at the thought. "Right. Third floor, second hallway to the right and first door to your left." Gretchen said and Cady nodded, thanking the two girls and congratulating them as well before heading up stairs to put their stuff in their rooms. After awhile, she finally made it to the hallway with all the guest rooms and she put down the bags, her hand reaching for the doorknob when a door behind her opened. She turned around and her eyes widened when she was met with equally shocked blue eyes.

"Regina." She let out as the girl stood frozen in her place, not expecting to see the brunette that soon. "Cady." She said, nodding her head to the girl who did the same, but in a more tense manner. "When did you arrive?" Regina asked, already feeling the pit in her stomach because of the awkward small talk that was happening. "Just a few minutes ago. We were supposed to arrive earlier, but we stopped at an old cafe because Janis wanted something to eat." Cady said with an awkward laugh and Regina hummed in reply. "Everyone else is downstairs?" She asked after a moment of silence between the two. "Um, yeah. They're all hanging out and catching up." Cady said and the girl nodded once more before sending Cady a smile. "Guess I should go say hi." Regina said and Cady nodded, watching as the girl walked away. "Um, Regina?" Cady called out, but the girl kept walking. "I'm-" 

"I know." Regina spoke out, cutting Cady off and stopping in her tracks to turn to her, not really wanting to hear those words from her at the moment. "I know. Don't apologize" She said in a more reassuring tone and Cady looked at her with a hesitant look before nodding. The girl gave her one more glance before turning around and walking away. The brunette sighed, turning back to the door and entering the room as she brought her and Janis' bags in. She looked at the room and leaned against the door with a thud when she realized there was only one bed. Guess she has to take the couch for the next four days then. The girl was already dreading the strain she knew her back would have. 

Meanwhile, the four friends sat around the lounge, laughing together as they drank tea and coffee when a knock on the archway caught their attention. "Having a reunion without me?" Regina asked with a small smile and Gretchen, Karen and Damian eyed the two girls cautiously, not knowing what to do because the last time they saw Regina and Janis interact was just before the two broke up, save for Damian who was there when Regina visited Janis at the hospital. Janis didn't notice the tension though as she sent the girl a smile, feeling her heart warm up at the mere sight of the girl before moving in her seat to leave space next to her. "We were just talking about the time we started a food fight at the food court with Aaron and the others." Janis said, patting the empty space and Regina let out a laugh before sitting down next to the girl. "I remember that. Damian really let them have it, huh?" Regina asked, turning to the other three who stared at them for a moment before the boy scoffed.

"Of course. I was wearing Hamilton merch that day, there was no way I was letting it get ruined." Damian said, making the group laugh when the boy tried to put on an intimidating voice but failed. "I keep telling you guys, he's a literal golden retriever." Gretchen said, making Damian furrow his eyebrow. "Honey, if I was a dog, I'd be a corgi from how cute I am." Damin said, pretending to flip his non-existent long hair. "Ooh, I want to be a dog. But like, I also want to be a cat. Can dogs and cats breed?" Karen asked, getting off topic which made Gretchen smile. "I don't think they can, but maybe one day" The brunette said, wrapping her arms around Karen's waist while the girl leaned back against her. "Ugh, I still can't believe you two are getting married." Janis said, making the other three laugh. "She's been saying this over and over again for the past fifteen minutes." Damian said making Regina laugh as well while Janis scrunched up her face. 

"Well, you can't blame me. The last thing I remember about you two was how Gretchen still couldn't get the courage to ask Karen out on one date." Janis said and Gretchen let out a scoff. "She was going through a really bad break up, okay? I was waiting till she was ready." Gretchen said, raising her arms up in defense. "But Karen and Adam were already broken up for four months and you still didn't do anything!" Damian said and Gretchen pouted. "I was just making sure she was extra ready." Gretchen mumbled making Karen giggle as she kissed the girl's head, automatically making a smile replace the pout. "Well, look at them now. Honestly, it was only a matter of time before they did." Regina said, gesturing to the two who were lovingly cuddling on the corner of the couch. "I honestly thought you and Janis were going to get married- Ow, that hurt." Karen whined when Gretchen pinched her on the arm. "You're not supposed to pinch the girl you're going to marry in four days." Karen said with a frown while rubbing her arm.

Gretchen glared at the blonde and only then did Karen notice how tense the air had become. "Oh." She said making Gretchen sigh. "It's okay, baby." Gretchen mumbled before kissing her cheek so she wouldn't feel too bad about herself. "Well?" Janis spoke up, shocking the other four with the word. "What do you mean?" Regina asked with an awkward laugh. "Why didn't we?" Janis asked, tilting her body so she could face Regina whose eyes darted around the room uncomfortably. "Should we really be talking about this now?" Regina asked the girl, lowering her voice so the conversation could be between them, but the other three could still hear. "Okay, so when will we talk about this? Cause we've had plenty of opportunities to talk about it whenever you get Cleo, but you always avoid it." Janis said making Regina furrow her eyebrows. "We are not fighting about this here." Regina said and Janis gave her an exasperated look. "It doesn't have to be a fight, we could just talk about it like civil people." Janis said and Regina rolled her eyes. "Oh, sure, civil. Cause this is totally leading into a civil conversation."

Gretchen let out a breath as she took her drink before leaning into Karen. "Well, this takes me back." She mumbled so only the three of them could hear before taking a sip from her drink while Damian and Karen nodded in agreement. "Can we just talk about this later?" Regina asked and Janis gave her an unamused look. "Sure, that totally convinces me." Janis said, making Regina let out a huff. The air was tense. Regina looked around the room while Janis fiddled with her fingers to occupy herself. Realizing that someone should do something, Gretchen cleared her throat which made them all turn to her, so she sent them a smile. "So, Damian," The brunette said, making the boy's eyes widen. "What? Me?" He asked with an awkward laugh. "Yeah. How about you? When do you think you'll get married?" Gretchen asked and Damian's face turned red which made Karen grin. "Ooh, I want to hear this!" Karen said while she giggled and the tense air faded.

"I'm not planning on getting married anytime soon. Living the single and independent life" Damian said confidently as he crossed his arms. "That's because you're too scared to ask that guy from your work." Regina said with a laugh, grabbing Janis' attention with the words. "Ooh, what guy?" She asked with a mischievous smile. "There's no guy! I don't know any guy." Dami said defensively, but Gretchen cut in. "There's this new guy who auditioned in one of the shows Damian's in named Sam and he's all he can talk about lately." Gretchen explained. "I don't talk about him all the time." Damian mumbled making them laugh. Gretchen relaxed when she successfully defused the situation despite having it be at Damian's expense. "Why didn't you invite him here? I would've loved to meet him. You know, make sure he's good enough for my best friend and give him the talk." Janis said in a teasing tone. "I'm not inviting him to a wedding as a first date!" Damian exclaimed. "Oh, so you're already thinking about asking him out?" Regina asked and Damian struggled to find words, settling on letting out a huff and leaning back against the chair. "I don't appreciate being attacked like this."

They continued like that for awhile until Damian had to get back to his duties for wedding planning since he took his duties as 'maid of honor' very seriously. "Shouldn't you be helping Damian since you're Gretchen's maid of honor?" Janis asked Regina as they fixed things up. They told Gretchen and Karen that they would be fine in cleaning up and that they should head up and relax. "I'm more in charge with the smaller things. You know, rehearsal dinner, reception prep, making sure all the guests get here in time. Damian's doing everything for the actual ceremony along with the dresses and stuff." Regina explained as she took the dishes and brought them to the kitchen where Janis followed. "Sounds like a big responsibility." Janis said half jokingly which made Regina let out a laugh. "I know. How about you? How've you been? I've only really seen you when I'm getting Cleo." Regina said, leaning against the counter as Janis started with the dishes.

"I'm pretty good. I've settled in pretty well with the new life, but it's still a bit hard to adjust to everything." Janis said, making Regina give her a small smile. "How're your memories?" Regina asked and a sad look appeared on the girl's face. "Still nothing." She said with a sad sigh. "I'm sorry." Regina said, not knowing why, but those were the only words she could say in that moment. "No, you don't need to apologize. It's not something any of us can control." Janis said, putting all of her frustration on the dishes to distract her. "I'm sure it'll come back at some point." Regina said and Janis let out a humorless laugh. "How? I haven't been sure about anything for two months now, so how can you be sure that I'll get my memories back?" Janis asked, wiping at her eyes when she felt the tears welling up. It was silent between them. Regina waited for Janis to calm down as she continued to wipe at her eyes.

"I've been doing some research." Regina spoke up when Janis went back to washing the dishes. "What research?" She asked, a bit dazed since her thoughts were running wild in her head about everything. "Amnesia. There's a bunch of different types of amnesia that I didn't even know about. At first I thought it was just losing memories, but apparently there's more to it than that." Regina explained and Janis nodded to show that she was listening. "There is a chance that you won't regain any of the memories you've lost," Regina said, turning her head to look at Janis who stopped her actions, her hands gripping the counter tightly as she shut her eyes. "But there's also a chance that you can get them back." Regina said and Janis sighed, burying her face in her hands in frustration. "Hey, look at me." Regina said, moving off the counter and gently pulling Janis' wrists away from her face.

"There's a chance. They may come back tomorrow, or in a few months, maybe in a few years, but I know you, Janis. Even if you have a one percent chance of getting them back, I know you'll take it. You're not one to give up. We just have to stay optimistic." Regina said and Janis pulled her wrists away from Regina to run her hands through her hair. "You know how hard it was to wake up and just be told that four years have passed by from where I last thought I was?" Janis asked and Regina looked down. "No, I don't." She said and Janis let out a laugh, shaking her head when she felt the tears fall from her face. "God, this was supposed to be a happy day. Two of my friends are getting married and we're all together, but here I am, crying like how I always do since I woke up." Janis said, sniffling as she wiped at her eyes. Regina walked forward and pulled the girl into her arms and Janis wrapped her arms around the girls torso, burying her face in Regina's chest.

"It feels like there's a giant hole in me that can never be filled. How could you ever fill four years worth of memories that disappeared just like that?" Janis asked and Regina rubbed her back comfortingly. "You can fill it by making more memories. You're only twenty-seven, Janis. There's still so much for you to do, four years won't seem like a big deal with time." Regina said and Janis let out a whine of disapproval. "Ugh, don't remind me. I can't believe I'm so old already." Janjs said which made Regina gasp in faux offense. "Excuse me, I'm twenty-seven too. Are you implying that I'm old?" Regina asked, making Janis laugh. "Yes. Next thing you'll know, your hair is gray and you're all wrinkly." Janis said through her laughs and Regina scoffed. "Ha, ha, very funny. Twenty-seven is not that old." Regina said with furrowed eyebrows making Janis pull away with a teasing smile on her face. "Tell that to the wrinkles forming on your forehead." Janis said and Regina playfully rolled her eyes before her hand reached up to see if there were actual wrinkles, only making Janis laugh.

"Thanks. I really needed that." Janis said when her laughter died down, making Regina smile at her. "It was the least I could do." Regina said, making Janis smile as well, a comfortable silence falling upon them as they just stared at each other, feeling right in that moment. The said moment was cut short, though, as the sound of someone clearing their throat caught their attention. Janis turned to the archway of the kitchen to see Cady leaning against it, sending her a small smile. "I was wondering if you wanted to go on a little walk with me." Cady asked, glancing at Regina before focusing on Janis who nodded. "Yeah, that sounds great." Janis said before turning to the dishes making Regina wave her hand at the girl. "I've got it here. Go on." Regina said and Janis narrowed her eyes at her. "Your nails are done, there's no way you'll willingly do the dishes " Janis said and Regina rolled her eyes. "Damian will deal with it, just go." Regina said with a smile which Janis returned before going over to Cady. "I'm just gonna go change." Janis said and Cady nodded as she watched Janis walk past her. Cady sent Regina a small wave and the girl nodded before Cady left to wait for the girl outside.


	5. Chapter 5

It was time for the rehearsal dinner and everyone was at the backyard of Gretchen and Karen's place where a tent was set up which was where the mini event was being held. Part of Janis felt confused and indifferent to the whole situation because rehearsal dinners was just a dumb way to fit every in law in a room where they'd judge the other family. Some of Karen and Gretchen's relatives weren't bad, but there was always going to be those invasive aunts who think they're better than everyone and the insensitive uncles who don't know a thing about personal space. The dark haired girl did enjoy the wine though, along with talking to old classmates she hasn't seen in awhile. A lot of them sent her pitied looks because of her accident which pissed her off.

She wasn't made of glass. She wasn't gonna shatter with one mention of her memory loss and she would appreciate it if they didn't treat her like such. Cady seemed to notice her discomfort whenever someone would approach her with the usual "Hey." That was way too dragged out to be considered nonchalant, so she made sure to drive the attention away from her and talk about something boring like work which Janis was very thankful for. In the two months she spent with Cady in their home, she couldn't help but admit that she had grown very fond of the girl. She was used to her presence by now, but part of her still didn't know how she felt about her. There were times where Cady did sweet things for her which made her heart warm and her stomach flip, but sometimes, just thinking about Regina had the same effect.

Though, whenever those feelings about the girl came into play, she couldn't help but feel the guilt forming in her. If she was in love with Cady, shouldn't her body just naturally respond to her like that? She was her fiancée after all, something she still couldn't get her mind around. To be fair, Cady was attractive and she was a very caring person. She took care of Janis and has been so patient with her that Janis did see her loving her at some point, but her heart still remained with Regina who was a completely different story. Either way, seeing Karen and Gretchen act all romantic only made these conflicting feelings worse for her. All of it was starting to suffocate the girl and she just wanted to get away from the crowd and have some fresh air. Janis filled her glass with wine and made her way outside the tent and went over to sit on one of the benches, the music and the chattering still in ear shot from where she was.

Spending time with her friends proved to be a good distraction from all the amnesia stuff going in her head, but every moment she had on her own just made them come back to the surface. Which probably meant that she shouldn't be alone in that moment, but Janis was always a bit of a masochist in that way. She sighed, letting her head fall before taking a sip from her wine. Maybe if Janis had lost her memory when she was a teen, she'd be fine with it. There were a lot of things in Janis' childhood that she had wished she had forgotten, but losing her memories as an adult? Losing your memories when you've already made so much? It hurt. She appreciated all the help her friends and family were giving her, but none of them understood how she truly felt. How could they? It wasn't like they lost four years of their life. It wasn't like they could just snap their fingers and experience the pain she was feeling all so they could understand.

What's worse is when they try to relate to Janis. God, the amount of eye rolling she had to stop herself from doing in the time of being in the hospital was amazing. The dark haired girl was surprised she managed to make it through a week of all that bullshit without snapping at one person. 'Oh, yeah, I totally get that. I always get frustrated when I'm trying to look up a song but I can't remember any of the lyrics and just the tune. I so feel your pain.' The girl let out a scoff at the memory before downing all the wine in her glass. Truth be told, Janis wasn't a big fan of the drink, but it was the only alcohol they had and she was gonna take what was given to her. "Careful. You know how much of a lightweight you are." Janis let out a laugh, shaking her head as the owner of the voice took a seat next to her. "I see you're getting away from the swatch dogs and diet coke heads as well." Janis said as she watched Regina take out a wine bottle that she hid behind her back, offering to pour the girl another glass, but she just took the bottle and took a swig from there.

"Leave some for the rest of us, why don't you." Regina said in amusement as she watched Janis take a big gulp from the bottle before handing it back to Regina. "Heathers, nineteen eighty-eight." Janis with a smile on her face, referring to what Regina had quoted earlier. "Looks like your memory's not completely busted," Regina said jokingly, making Janis laugh while the former drank from the bottle as well. "Have you watched it lately?" Janis asked and Regina let out a scoff. "As if I'd ever willingly watch any eighties movie on my own." The blonde said which made Janis laugh. "Can't have that now, can we?" Janis asked and Regina laughed, not really finding anything funny with the words, just with how Janis said it. "No, I guess not." Regina said as Janid leaned back against the bench while looking up to gaze at the stars. "What's on your mind?" Regina asked and Janis hummed as her eyes roamed the twinkling night sky. "The shit that got lost in my mind." Janis mumbled and Regina nodded at the words. 

"Nice one." She said and Janis thanked the girl before taking the bottle from her and having another swig at it. "What do you think of those two getting married?" Regina asked, tilting her head over to the tent which had a good view of Gretchen and Karen slow dancing in the middle of the dance floor. "I think," Janis said, looking back to the girl who turned to her. "That, that, should be us." Janis said, the alcohol giving her the courage to say the things that were on her mind without over thinking them. Regina stared at her for a second before sighing and taking the bottle from Janis. "I'm not drunk enough for this conversation." She said before taking a drink. "Shut up, you're already tipsy." Janis said and Regina gave her a look. "Like I said, not enough." Regina said before taking a large gulp of the wine. "You know, Gretchen told me that, that, is a five hundred bottle wine." Janis said making Regina stop, pulling the bottle back and reading the label with narrowed eyes since her blurred vision made it hard for her to focus on anything. "Huh." She said before turning her head to face Janis.

"Better put it to good use then." She said, tilting the bottle to the dark haired girl who took it. "Consider it them giving to the needy." Janis said before taking a sip. "And what are we needy for?" Regina asked and Janis shrugged. "Need to forget." Janis said making Regina raise her eyebrows in amusement. "Ironic coming from the girl with amnesia." She said, the alcohol in her system getting rid of her filter. "Kinda poetic though, isn't it? You know, wanting to forget about all the things I've forgotten? Like, I lost my memories all because a drunk guy was careless. But now, I'm getting drunk and there's a large chance I won't remember any of this in the morning, but at least I know that. It's my way of getting that control in my life back after it was wrongfully taken from me." Janis said and Regina nodded before taking the bottle. "You lost me at poetic." The blonde said before taking a drink. 

"You know, since we're grown and responsible adults now, we should really stop drinking so much." Janjs said as she took the bottle from Regina when she was mid drink. "You're right." Regina said before furrowing her eyebrows. "Didn't you mention one time that the last age you remember being was twenty-three?" Regina asked and Janis nodded, not understanding what the former was getting at. "That's a young enough age to get absolutely trashed without worrying about consequences." Regina said suggestively and Janis thought for a moment before shrugging, finding her words as a good enough excuse as she took a drink before handing it to Regina who brought it up to her lips, lifting it up and chugging it all down. "Wow." Janis said as Regina raised a fist to her mouth and letting out a small burp before letting the wine glass drop to the glass. Fortunately, it didn't break. "Totally gonna regret that in the morning. But that's a problem for future me to worry about." Regina said, leaning back against the bench. 

It was silent, but it wasn't awkward or tense, it was just there and the two girls didn't mind leaving it there, but Janis was curious and her drunken state would not allow her to leave any thought in her mind unspoken. "I get why I'm drinking this much, cause you know, I'm me and I know what's going through my head." Janis said and Regina let out a groan to show that she was listening. "But why are you drinking this much?" Janis asked and Regina paused before turning to her. "Seeing you here and being around you this much has put me in a drinking mood." Regina said. "Why? Have I gotten that ugly that you need to get drunk to actually look at me?" Janis asked half jokingly and Regina shook her head. "Nope. You're just as beautiful as you were four years ago. Even more actually." Regina said with a smile and the words took a moment for the words to be processed in Janis' head, but once they did, the girl snorted which made Regina's smile grow.

"That was so horrible." Janis said with a laugh, playfully pushing the girl who shook her head. "You totally fell for that." Regina said and Janis let out a playful scoff. "Excuse me, but I am an engaged lady." Janis said, raising her hand to show the ring on her finger before her playful energy diminished, her eyes staring at the piece of jewelry on her finger which shimmered from the lights in the sky. "Engaged to a girl who I've only known for two months." Janis said with a sigh, leaning back against the bench. "Hey, technically, you've known him for three years." Regina said making Janis furrow her eyebrows. "That doesn't count." Janis said and Regina nodded. "If it makes you feel any better, you really did love him. You said yes for a reason and Cady isn't a bad person." Regina said and Janis rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah. I've heard that one before." Janis said, remembering all the times people kept trying to remind her of her love with Cady.

"I'm surprised you're so supportive of me and Cady. I remember you being such a jealous bean." Janis said which made Regina look at her with an amused look. "Did you just refer to me as a bean?" Regina asked. "Shh." Janis said, pressing her finger against the girls lips. "It's the alcohol." Janis said, leaning her head against the girl's shoulders. "I can see." Regina said with a chuckle, leaning her head against Janis' which made the girl hum in satisfaction. "Why aren't you?" Janis mumbled, her words being muffled by the blonde's shoulders. "Why aren't I what?" Regina asked. "Jealous, I mean." Janis said and Regina let out a snort of amusement. "Do you want me to be?" Regina asked and Janis rolled her eyes, pulling away from the girl. "No. But you always get jealous over the littlest things, it was really funny." Janis said and Regina shrugged. "Of course I wasn't all rainbows and butterflies when you went with her, but you looked happy and that was all that really mattered." Regina said and Janis hummed, not really understanding what the words meant because she was too preoccupied with the wood pattern of the bench. 

Suddenly, Janis gasped in shock and excitement when she heard a song start playing from the tent where everyone else was. "Oh my gosh, I love this song!" Janis said, getting up and grabbing Regina's hand. "Of course you do." Regina said with a laugh as she got up, letting Janis lead her to the middle of the backyard. Janis rested her left hand on Regina's shoulder, not letting go of the hand she was already holding while Regina let her right hand rest on Janis' waist as they stumbled and swayed to the song that meant a lot for both of them. Janis started humming softly to the music with a grin on her face, leaning in until their noses touched, giving Regina an Eskimo kiss which made the blonde laugh once more as she twirled Janis around. The girl yelped when Regina pulled her back towards her, wrapping her arms around her waist from behind and spinning her around as Janis cackled before letting her go, stumbling a bit from how dizzy she got mixed with all the alcohol in her system.

Janis laughed as Regina placed a hand on her shoulder for support until her knees gave, making her fall to the ground. The dark haired girl let out a yelp when she got pulled down as well, laughing hardly as she laid down on the grass, trying to contain herself as she continued to laugh uncontrollably. Unbeknownst to her, Regina was just staring at her lovingly, happy to see the girl look so carefree and relaxed, finally having an actual smile on her face, this being the most blissful Regina's seen the girl in awhile. When Janis' laughter died down, she took notice of Regina's silence and turned to her, catching the girl's eyes which were already on hers. "Why are you looking at me like that?" Janis asked, her voice barely above a whisper and Regina shrugged. "I don't know. I like seeing you happy." Regina said and Kanks grinned at the words. "I like seeing you." Janis said, tapping Regina's nose with the tip of her finger which made the girl smile. "That didn't make sense." Regina said and Janis hummed, slowly leaning forward towards Regina's face. Regina watched as Janis' eyes closed, analyzing how relaxed the girl looked before closing her eyes and leaning in as well.

Regina was definitely surprised when she felt the impact on her shoulder and not her lips. The girl opened her eyes and looked down to see that Janis had fallen asleep against her shoulders. She smiled, carefully placing her hand on the back of Janis' head for support before shifting her body so Regina's back was leaning against the grass while Janis laid on top of her. It was amusing since Regina had drank a lot more than Janis. She guesses that her tolerance for alcohol wasn't one of the things that had changed about her. Regina let out a content sigh before feeling her eyes grow heavy as well. What she didn't know was that even though she was sleeping on the ground, it would be the most peaceful sleep she's had in the past year.  
__________

Regina sat on the floor, looking through all of her notes seeing as exams were coming up. She was still in the clothes she wore outside since she never thought of changing. Janis was out getting dinner for them and Regina really just wanted to rest, but she couldn't afford to fail this exam if she wanted to have a career. Janis walked in the apartment, eyes darting over to the living room where Regina was, eyes furrowed as her eyes darted left to right as she read through her notes. "Hey, baby." Janis said, going over to her girlfriend and kissing her cheek. "Hey." Regina mumbled, still focused on her studying. "How long have you been studying?" Janis asked as she walked into the kitchen. "Since I got back so, uh, two hours now?" Regina called out and Janis turned to look back at Regina with concerned eyes. 

"You didn't even change?" Janis asked and Regina shook her head. "I'll change later, I just have to get through with this subject and I'll be good." The blonde explained and Janis let out a hum before placing the take out on the dining table. "Well, take a break for a moment, dinner's ready." Janjs said. "You can go on first, I'll eat later." Regina called out and that's when Janis knew she had to do something. If Regina kept this up, she'd end up working herself to the bone and Janis knew how the girl could get when she didn't get enough sleep, plus if she was sleep deprived, she wouldn't be able to do any of her studying properly and she knew how much this test meant to her girlfriend.

Janis ran to their room, but the other girl didn't seem to notice, too distracted with her studying to even look up. Janis looked through their drawers before finding a cassette tape which made her grin. She ran back to the dining room where there was a speaker in the bookshelf. Janis put in the tape and let it play, turning to Regina who was still glued to her papers until she heard the music start to play. The blonde girl looked up to Janis with a confused yet amused look as she watched Janis who started dancing and hopping goofily to the music. It was a special playlist Regina made for Janis when the dark haired girl first introduced her to her type of music. To show that she actually enjoyed her taste, Regina made her own playlist. Janis mouthed the lyrics in an exaggerated manner while pretending to play an air guitar and Regina tried to keep a serious expression as she bit down in her lip to stop herself from smiling. 

"Janis." Regina said, trying to sound serious, but the growing smile made her seem otherwise as Janis danced around, continuing to mouth the lyrics while approaching the girl. "I need to study." Regina said with a smile, but Janis continued, taking the girl's hands and pulling her up. "Come on. You know you want to. Don't leave me hanging here cause this is starting to feel embarrassing." Janis said as she danced, taking Regina's hands and moving them around. The girl raised her eyebrows in amusement, trying to stand her ground and show her dedication to her work, but Janis knew she would cave. The girl shook her head before giving in, bopping her head and as Janis led her to a spot in the living room that didn't have much furniture so they could dance. Janis took Regina's arm, pulling her away before pulling her towards her, spinning Regina in the process and wrapping her arms around as they swayed to the music. Regina laughed when Janis lifted her up, shouting in excitement as Janis spun her around. 

"See? Isn't this more fun than studying?" Janis asked as she put Regina down, the girl letting out a giggle before wrapping her arms around the girl's neck and pulling her in for a quick kiss. "I guess I could take a quick break." Regina said just as the next song started making Janis nod her head exaggeratedly with each strum of the bass making Regina laugh before the two spent the night dancing along to the blonde's playlist.  
__________

"Hey, have you seen Regina? She was supposed to make a speech and Damian's been talking for almost ten minutes now just to keep up appearances." Gretchen asked in worry to Karen, her eyes glancing over to Damian who was telling his fourth story by that time as Karen shook her head. "No. I can't find Janis either." Karen said and Gretchen let out a gasp. "You don't think?" Gretchen asked, making Karen's eyes widen. "That they're hooking up? Probably" Karen said with a shrug and Gretchen gave her a look. "You seem pretty sure." Gretcheb asked, crossing her arms which made Karen shrug. The girl always seemed to know things that no one else did. "Don't worry, I do as well." Gretchen said. "What about Cady? I loved it when Regina and Janis were together, but I really like Cady too. She's nice to me and Janis." Karen said with a frown which made Gretchen send the blonde a sad look, placing a hand on her shoulder for support.

"I know. They were great together, but it doesn't make it right. Even if Janis can't remember, she's still with Cady. The least she could do is stay faithful to her until she figures everything out." Gretchen said with a frown. "I just don't want anyone getting hurt. I don't like it when my friends are sad and everyone has been really sad lately." Karen said and Gretchen nodded, yet still unsure about how she felt about it all. "Let's just hope everything works out for the best. Look, we can talk about this later, let's just look for them before Damian starts telling the broom closet story." Gretchen said with a huff and Karen nodded before following the dark haired girl out the tent.

It didn't really take long for the two girls to find Regina and Janis. Almost instantly after setting a foot out of the tent, they spotted two figures lying down, cuddled up together on the ground, their chests rising and falling in sync which was a sign that both girls were asleep. "Huh. I guess they didn't hook up after all." Gretchen said with a slightly disappointed frown. The two watched as Janis subconsciously buried her face deeper into Regina's shoulder while the blonde's arms tightened around the girl. Gretchen smiled down at them, looking over to Karen and intertwining their hands. "Come on, they look comfortable we'll just wake them up later." The brunette said and Karen noded with a smile before placing a kiss on the girl's lips.


	6. Chapter 6

"You never listen!" Regina shouted as she walked out of the room with Janis following closely. "I am listening! I'm listening right now, aren't I? What do you call this, huh?" Janis answered with a roll of her eyes. "I would barely call this a conversation since conversations are supposed to function in two ways, and I'm actually the only one participating in it!" Regina said, turning around to face her girlfriend. "It's probably because you keep shutting me out when I try talking to you, so I'm kind of used to talking to a brick wall!" Janis exclaimed and Regina let out a groan of frustration. "You always do this. No matter what we're fighting about, the blame always gets switched over to me so you have an escape." Regina said, making the taller girl scoff. "That is not what I do." She said, making the blonde girl give her a look. "Oh, really?" She asked, crossing her arms. "Yes." Janis said with furrowed eyebrows. "Is that what we're doing now, too? Denying the things we blatantly do?" Regina asked, turning around and walking out and making Janis run her hands down her face before following.

"Could you just stop walking for one second, I am tired of chasing you around this apartment." Janis said frustratedly and Regina stopped, turning around to face Janis, waiting for her to speak up expectantly. When Janis didn't speak, Regina rolled her eyes and turned around, continuing to walk. "Oh my god, just stop!" Janis said, following Regina to the other room. "I already stopped and you didn't say anything, what was I supposed to do?" Regina asked. "How about you wait for me to actually think of a sentence since I'm too busy chasing you around." The dark haired girl said. "Sounds like a you problem, not a me problem." Regina said, looking over her shoulder as she continued to walk. "You're acting like a child." Janis said. At this point, Janis and Regina had forgotten what they were originally fighting about and now were just arguing because it was what they were so used to doing these days that it was hard to have a conversation without having it escalate into an argument about nothing.

They continued shouting at each other in the night until Janis eventually got tired from all the fighting and settled in the guest room to sleep since she couldn't bring herself to lay next to the girl when she could barely even look at her without wanting to shout. She wondered how things came to be that way between them. They used to have moments where they were so in love with each other, but now, they weren't even acting like an old married couple, it was like they couldn't stand each other anymore. It was tiring and Janis wanted something different. Whether it be for her and Regina to go back to their usual days where things were good, or for something entirely different. The thought of not being with Regina everyday left a foreign feeling in the girl's heart. Janis could barely even see herself without being with Regina since she's been by her side for so long now. Hell, she couldn't even remember a time where they weren't together. It got Janis thinking to herself for a while. Was this what it was going to be from now on? Half-assed conversations that turned into full fledged fights until one of them got tired? 

The thought made Janis break into a cold sweat. Was this all there was? Janis knows it's normal when couples fight all the time, but they've doing this for almost a year now. When was this rough patch supposed to end? Was it even going to end? Sure, she loved Regina with all of her heart, but she doesn't know if she can keep doing all of it like this. Anything but this. She was so tired of fighting all the time and though Janis could see having a future with Regina, she doesn't know if she really wants that anymore. God, that thought made Janis want to throw up. No, that wasn't right. It was her and Regina, it would always be her and Regina. They could get through this, they just had to keep trying and they'd be back to a time where they just loved each other. Needless to say, Janis didn't sleep a wink that night with all those thoughts running through her head.

Going into work the next day was a huge pain for the white haired girl. She's been using coffee as her way to keep functioning since she was pretty sure her body was ready to collapse from how tired she was. Jenis threw her stylus down in frustration since it kept shaking, so she couldn't draw anything that looked eligible. She sighed, burying her face in her hands before running them through her hair. She rubbed at her eyes, taking a moment to collect herself when the sound of tapping against the walls of her cubicle caught her off guard, making her jump in her seat, letting out a yelp in shock. "Oh! Oh my god, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." Cady said frantically while Janis steadied herself as she tried catching her breath. "Caddy, I didn't see you." Weiss said, turning to her when she somewhat collected herself. "No, it's fine. I saw you lost in your head and I just wanted to be smooth, but I didn't really expect you to jump like that." Cady said in an awkward tone and Janis nodded.

"Um, it's also pronounced Cady? I'm not sure if you knew that, but I just wanted to say in case you actually thought that was my name.." The girl said. "Oh, I know. I'm still gonna call you Caddy though." Janis said and Cady paused before letting out a light laugh. "Alright. Better than nothing, I guess." Cady said, resting her arms on the walls of the cubicle and leaning against it. "Was there something you needed?" Janis asked and Cady's eyes widened when she suddenly remembered what she was there for. "Um," Cady said, shocking herself with a voice crack which made her clear her throat while Janis watched her in amusement. "Yes. There's actually something I need you to do for me." Cady said, her voice back to its regular pitch and Janis had to stifle a laugh because of it. "Okay, what will that be?" Janis asked, deciding to humor the girl for a bit. "I need you to accompany me to a dinner tomorrow night." Cady said and Janis furrowed her eyes.

Oh, so it's a work thing, Janis thought to herself. "I didn't realize there was going to be a company dinner so soon when we just had one a few weeks ago." Janis said and a confused look fell on Cady's face until she realized what the girl meant. "Oh, no, there's not. Not for awhile." Cady explained, only making Janis grow more confused with the already odd conversation. "So what dinner do you need me to attend?" Janis asked and Cady put on the most charming smile she could muster and Janis involuntarily raised an eyebrow at her. "Well, I was thinking it could be a dinner between just the two of us. You know, no work talk and just getting to know each other." She explained and Janis blinked at her before letting out a snort and laughing. Cady's confident air disappeared which was something Janis noticed, making her stop in the midst of her laughter. "Oh, you were serious." Janis said in realization, making Cady let out a sigh and a dejected smile.

"Not anymore after that." Cady said and Janis winced before sending her an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, I haven't been hit on in so long that I thought this was some joke." Janis said honestly before furrowing her eyebrows at her own words, not seeing the surprised and amused look on Cady's face. "What?" She asked, making Janis turn to her with a confused expression. "Huh?" She asked and Cady smiled in endearment. "You said you haven't been hit on in so long." She explained, furthering Janis" confusion. "Yeah?" She asked and Cady let out a laugh. "I find that very hard to believe." Cady said, her confidence back on. "Why?" The girl asked, still not getting what Cady was trying to say. "Well, you're probably one of the most beautiful girls here, not to mention you're very hardworking and determined. I don't believe that no one would hit on you because you're practically perfect." Cady said with an awkward laugh in order to get through her compliment and Janis felt her face heat up at the words, finally realizing what was happening.

The girl cleared her throat, tapping her fingers on her desk awkwardly before turning to Cady. "I have a girlfriend." Weiss said, looking down awkwardly as her hand rubbed the back of her neck. Cady froze, her eyes widening as she pursed her lips, nodding and pushing herself off of the cubicle as her eyes darted around the office, the embarrassment she was feeling made it hard for her to look at the dark haired girl. "Wow. I just keep digging myself deeper into the hole, huh?" Cady asked with an awkward laugh which made Janis nod. "Just a bit." She said half jokingly, stifling her laugh as Cady continued looking away. "So, for the sake of my very damaged pride right now... Could we just forget this conversation ever happened?" Cady asked with a sheepish smile and Janis tried very hard to control her giggles. "Sure." She said, a laugh slipping through her slips making her hand shoot up to her mouth.

"Of course. I don't even remember why you're here in the first place." Janis said, pursing her lips to stop the smile making its way onto her face. "I know, right? I don't even know why I'm here." Cady said with a smile. "Well, I better get back to work then." Janis said, gesturing to her desk and Cady nodded. "Ah, right. I'll see you later then." Cady said as she started walking backwards. Janis nodded with a smile and Cady sent her an awkward wave, turning around and making her way back to her department when she accidentally bumped into someone who had multiple papers in their hands, causing them to fly from the impact. Janis unintentionally snorted at the sight as Cady frantically moved to grab the papers that fell around the ground. The girl looked up and her eyes met Janis' for a second before she sent her a smile, sending her a wave which made the girl's stomach flip, a feeling she hasn't felt in awhile. Janjs looked down, trying to conceal her smile before turning around to focus back on her work, feeling better than she did a few minutes ago.  
__________

"Hey." A voice whispered in Janis' ear, making her wake up. She blinked multiple times, desperately trying to recall the dream she just had, but it was like it was fading right in front of her without any way for her to get it back. "Hey. Are you alright?" Cady asked and Janis turned to her with a sad look on her face before she shook her head, facing her with a tired smile. "I'm fine." Janis said to her with a smile before yawning and reaching for her phone to check the time. "God. It's two am, why did you wake me up?" Janis said with a whine, turning off her phone and setting it back down while Cady let out a laugh. "I was actually wondering if you could accompany me somewhere." Cady explained. "This early? Can't it wait till tomorrow?" Janis asked and Cady laughed.

"Not really. Tomorrow is the wedding and you'll be too busy as a bridesmaid, so we have to do this now." Cady said as Janis sat up. "What're we gonna do anyway?" Janis asked and Cady grinned. "You'll see. I left you a dress hanging in the bathroom. Get ready and read the note once you're done." Cady said, getting up and only then did Janis realize how dressed up the girl was. "Wait, what are we doing?" Janjs asked, the curiosity overpowering how tired she was. "I'm not saying anything." Cady said and Janis furrowed her eyes. "Cady." She said, making the girl laugh. "If I say what we're doing, it'll ruin the surprise." Cady said and Janis rolled her eyes playfully, a smile making its way onto her face. "Alright, I'm getting up. This better be a good surprise." Janis said, moving aside the blanket and getting up. 

"It will be, I promise." Cady said with a smile before leaving the room. Janis stretched her body before opening the lights to the room, blinking her eyes so they would adjust to the light before entering the bathroom. The girl's eyes landed on her dress and immediately felt her heart warm at the sight. It wasn't anything extravagant, but it still looked so beautiful. It was a short black dress that stopped just above her knees with paint stains littered around it. It obviously wasn't new, but Janis didn't care, she was very eager to put it on. Seeing as Cady was all dressed up when she woke her up, Janis decided to fix herself up a bit as well, applying some makeup with minimal effort and fixing up her hair a bit so it wouldn't look too messy. When she was finished, the dark haired girl looked around for the letter until she found it on top of the sink. 

'Garden, 2:45   
\- xoxo C.H.  
(P.S. I still don't know what xo means, but apparently it's romantic so I'll just add it for the aesthetic)

Janis laughed at the last part before taking her phone, checking the time and seeing that she should be heading to the garden to meet Cady already. Janis closed the lights before leaving the room, navigating through the dark halls until she made it outside. There was a full moon out and multiple stars littered the sky. Janis gazed at the sky above her while she walked until she felt the garden become brighter. She focused her attention on the light and gasped to see all the fairy lights hung across the trees, lighting up the garden and bringing life to the quiet night. Soft music was playing from a speaker and Janis focused her eyes on Cady who stood in the middle of it all with a sheepish smile on her face while holding a basket in her hands.

"I thought that it'd be a good idea if we could have a picnic." Cady said while Janis continued looking around in awe as she walked towards her. "Did you do all this for me?" Weiss asked in surprise, her eyes meeting Cady's as the girl shrugged. "Nah. I just really felt like eating under beautiful lights that took like an hour and a half to set up alone." Cady said which made Janis laugh. "You better make sure Gretchen doesn't see any of this cause she will kill you for upstaging her the night before her wedding." Janis said and Cady nodded. "What she doesn't know won't hurt her. I'll just say that this is their wedding gift." Cady said in a joking manner which made Janis laugh once more. Cady took out the blanket from the basket and laid it out on the grass. Janis sat down while Cady rummaged through the basket, taking out some plates and putting one in front of each of them. 

"Okay, so this is a three course meal." Cady said wiggling her eyebrows making Janis laugh. "Oh really? I didn't know I'd be dining at a five star restaurant." Janis said, playing along to humor the both of them, not even feeling tired anymore after seeing all of this. "Only the best, of course." Cady said, putting on a posh voice which made Janis laugh once more. The girl enjoyed the light feeling in her heart, especially after everything that's been on her mind since coming here. "What will be our appetizer then?" Janis asked and Cady reached into the basket, pausing for dramatic effect before pulling out two sandwiches wrapped in paper towels. "Only the finest PB and J you can find." Cady said and the girl couldn't control her laughter.

"Oh my gosh, that is perfect." Janis said, covering her mouth to conceal her laughter as Cady laid out the sandwiches on the plate. "And for drinks," Cady said, reaching into the basket. "Capri suns." Cady said and Janis ooh'd as Cady passed her a packet. "How fancy. I'm so spoiled" She said, punching in the straw and taking a sip. "What really made you want to do all of this?" Janis asked and Cady hummed in thought. "Well, I know that we're fiancees, but to you, I'm just some random girl you met after waking up in the hospital." Cady said in a calm tone, not really bothered by what she said as Janis' eyes softened. "Cady..." Janis said, but the girl shook her head, stopping Janis from continuing. "No, no, it's fine. I know that, I'm aware that, that's, going to be how you see me for a while. So, I thought that since you don't know me anymore, we could get to know each other again. That's why I did this. We haven't really gone on a date since you woke up, so I thought this would be a good idea." Cady explained and Janis felt her heart warm at the words, sending the girl a smile from how touched she was.

"Taking a girl on a date without even asking her? Is this how people do it now?" Janis asked jokingly and Cady laughed, shaking her head before getting up, taking Janis' hand and helping her stand as well before going down on one knee. "Oh." Janis said with wide eyes. "Cady, this is a really great date and everything, but I don't think we're at the point where-" Janis was cut off when Cady started laughing. "No, no, that's not what this is." Cady explained through her laughs while Janis let out a sigh of relief before smiling at Cady who looked up at her with a loving expression. "Janis Sarkisian, will you do me the honor of making me the happiest girl alive by accompanying me on our second first date?" Cady asked and Janis smiled, feeling a burst of emotions in her chest from such a sweet and romantic gesture. "Yes. It'll be my pleasure." Janis said and Cady grinned, standing up and kissing Janis' hands. 

Cady reached into her pocket, taking out her phone and scrolling through it before tapping on it and putting it back into her pocket. Janjs looked at her in confusion before a familiar tune started playing, making a smile appear on her face. Cady extended her hand as the intro to one of Janis' favorites songs started playing. Janis chuckled, taking Cady's hand as the girl guided it to her waist. Janis lifted her other arm and wrapped both of them around Cady's waist while Cady wrapped her arms around Janis' neck seeing as the girl was so much taller than her, slowly swaying along to Paul Anka's voice that filled the air. "How am I doing so far?" Cady whispered and Janis hummed, the smile on her face having no intention of disappearing. "Keep this up and you might be lucky enough to land a second date, Cady." Janjs said and Cady smiled. 

The two continued swaying as Janis puller her closer, burying her head in the crook of Cady's shoulder while brunette did the same, leaving no space at all between their bodies. "It's Caddy, by the way." Cady said, making Janis lift her head to face the girl. "What do you mean?" She asked with furrowed eyebrows and Cady smiled at her. "You would never call me by my actual name because you really liked calling me Caddy instead of Cady. But of course, you don't remember that. You've been calling me Cady ever since you woke up and it never felt right." The brunette explained and Janis sent her a sad smile. "You should have told me before. I can't believe I've been calling you the wrong name for the past two months now." Janis said jokingly which made Cady let out a laugh. "Now I know better. I'm gonna be making up for lost time now, Caddy." Janis said and Cady looked at the girl with the fondest look, feeling her heart explode with sparks just from hearing the name come out of Janis' mouth.

The girl slowly lifted her hand, cupping the side of her cheek and Janis let her continue her actions as they faced each other, so close that their noses were touching and they could feel their breaths hit their face. "Can I kiss you?" Cady asked in a soft tone as if speaking too loudly would break the bubble they were in. Janis looked down to the girl's lips and instead of replying, she slowly leaned in towards her, the action simply feeling right in that moment and Cady took it as a sign to do the same. Cady paused when their lips hovered above each other, brushing hers against Janis' as she felt her eyes start to close on their own. "You're beautiful." She whispered as her hand moving to the back of the girl's head and gently pulling her in as their lips finally met.

Janis was already expecting her stomach to explode with butterflies, but she felt them flutter around her whole body, making her feel euphoric in that moment. Everything was perfect, the setting, the music, even the food despite how cheesy it was. But she certainly wasn't expecting a large gust of pain appearing in her head only seconds later. The girl pulled away instantly, her hands shooting up to grip it as she groaned from the pain. "Janis?" Cady asked in concern, approaching the girl who stepped back, continuing to grip her head. No. No, no, no. It can't be. Tears filled Janis' eyes, the pain in her head fading as it took it's place in her heart. She sobbed, hand covering her mouth as she silently begged for it all to stop, begging to forget once again. "Janis..." Cady said, reaching out to hold the girl's hand, but she pulled away, turning around, not being able to face the girl without feeling her heart rip into pieces. 

"I'm sorry." Janis whispered, trying to control herself as she shut her eyes tightly to stop any more tears from falling down. "You remember." Cady said with a breath of shock, finally realizing what was happening. "No." Janis said and the girl furrowed her eyebrows. "So you don't remember?" Cady asked in confusion. "No!" Janis shouted in frustration before letting out a sigh. "No, wait. Yes, I do, but not everything." Janis said, burying her face in her hands. "What do you remember?" Cady asked hesitantly and Janis faced her, tears involuntarily falling onto her face. "How Regina and I broke up." Janis said, the words alone making her want to scream and cry because of how painful it was. Out of all the memories, why did she have to remember that? She knows she's been wondering and wanting answers, but why now? Why did they have to come back when she felt at ease for the first time in two months. "Janis." Cady said, stepping forward, but Janis quickly took a step back, making Cady stop.

"No." Janis repeated, wiping her eyes and shaking her head. "I need to be alone right now." Janis said, letting out a shaky breath before turning around once again to walk away. Cady watched as the girl walked away, tears filling her own eyes before she sat down onto the grass with a huff, hands reaching up to grip her hair tightly in frustration as their perfect night turned sour in a flash.


	7. Chapter 7

Regina walked down the halls, bobby pins in her mouth as she fixed up her hair while making her way to one of the rooms where Gretchen and the rest of her bridesmaids were. As she walked, quick footsteps made their way in her direction, causing Regina to stop and turn around as she put the last of the pins in her hair. "Regina!" Damian called out as she quickly ran to her. "Hey, Damian. What's up?" Regina asked as Damian panted, trying to catch his breath. "Have you seen Janis?" He asked, making the blonde girl furrow her eyebrows. "No, I haven't seen her since yesterday. Why?" Regina asked in a concerned tone as the brunette whined. "I can't find her. We're supposed to get ready with Karen right now and the wedding is in an hour. We can't walk down without Janis because Aaron won't have a partner when walking down the aisle, it'll ruin the formation!" Damian exclaimed. 

"Alright, alright, calm down." Regina said, pushing down her concern for the moment so she could deal with Damian, placing her hands on his shoulders to keep him still. "Where's Cady? Maybe they're together." Regina asked and Damian shook his head. "I can't find her either. God, this is not the time for a couple's vacation." Damian said, feeling the stress come back. "Okay, Damian, deep breaths, deep breaths." Regina said and the girl nodded frantically before closing his eyes and doing what Regina said. "I'll go look for her, okay? Do we have any replacements in case she doesn't make it?" Regina asked, making Damian groan. "Don't even say that!" He exclaimed, hands going up to his head as he made a move to start pacing, but Regina grabbed his arm to stop him. 

"Okay, I'll find Janis and hypothetically, if she weren't able to make it, will you go out and try to find a replacement?" Regina asked and Damian nodded in reply. "Yeah. Yeah, I think I can do that." He said that as he started walking off. When she was alone in the hallway, Regina sighed before starting her search for Janis. Why would she just disappear on the day of their best friends' wedding? It wasn't like her. Something must've happened to make her run off which made a sinking feeling appear in Regina's stomach at the thought of what could have happened. As she ran through the giant house, the sight of someone leaning against the railings of the balcony caught her attention as she immediately stopped in her tracks, walking back to see a head of brown hair looking off into the distance. 

"Cady." Regina let out with a breath of relief, but the anxious feeling inside her returned when she realized Janis wasn't with her. "Damian told me she's been looking for you everywhere. Where's Janis?" Regina asked and Cady sighed, letting her head fall before rubbing her eyes tiredly. "I'd like to know the answer to that question as well." She said with a sigh, making Regina's stomach drop as she approached her. "What's that supposed to mean?" Regina asked and Cady turned to her with a sad smile. "She remembers." She said and the air between them became silent, as if the world stilled after Cady uttered those two words. "How much?" Regina asked after a moment and the girl shook her head. "Ironically, she only remembered your breakup." Cady said which made Regina let out a sigh as she leaned against the railing as well. "When did she remember that? How did that even happen?" Regina asked and Cady let out a half hearted-chuckle.

"I wanted to take her out on a date. You know, be romantic so that maybe I could remind her about the love we had and the love she felt before she lost her memories." Cady said with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "It was going so great too. We were both having such a good time and for a moment, I thought we'd be able to have that chance to be together again... So we kissed and I guess everything came back to her because she pulled away looking so heartbroken and I just..." Cady shook her head, not wanting to continue and Regina nodded, understanding that it just wasn't something Cady wanted to talk about in that moment. "Do you still remember it?" Cady asked and Regina sighed, looking down at all the guests in formal attire gathering for Karen and Gretchen's wedding. "Like it was yesterday."  
__________

Janis waved Cady goodbye before entering the apartment complex, the smile on her face not wanting to leave after the day she had. Cady had just taken her out to go to a park and they rode one of those swan boats into the pond and they just had one of the nicest times. Everything just felt so much easier whenever she was with the girl. She was sweet, she was dorky in the best way possible, she was romantic and it was like she was the only one who understood her anymore. Being with Cady was a breath of fresh air after being suffocated under the ground for so long. It was new and it was different and she loved it. Her and Regina weren't like this anymore. Regina barely even looked at Janis in that loving way she used too. But now, she got those looks from Cady and her heart would just burst into warmth by just thinking about it.

Shaking her head from the giddy feeling inside of her, Cady opened the door to the apartment and set down her keys on the counter, taking off her coat and walking into the living room when she saw Regina waiting there by the couch, a stack of letters on the coffee table which made the warmth in Janis' chest disappear as her face paled at the sight. "Regina..." Janjs said, eyeing the letters Cady would leave at her desk every morning while Regina's leg bounced up and down. Janis noticed this and realized that Regina probably had a lot running through her mind in that moment since it was what she would usually do when she was either nervous, scared or upset. The dark haired girl guessed it was the last one. "Regina, I can explain." Janis said, slowly approaching the girl who raised her hand towards her, using her free one to drag it down her face in frustration.

"I don't even know what to say about this." Regina said with a humorless laugh before facing Janis. "Well?" The blonde asked, crossing her arms while tapping her fingers against her arm. "Explain, cause trying to figure out what this all means on my own has been driving me crazy, so please, just tell me what these letters are supposed to mean." Regina asked, desperate for the answers her mind has been searching since she found the letters hidden in one of the drawers in the guest room. "It's not what you think it is." Janis said, trying to be careful with her words, only to frustrate Regina more than she already was. "Then what is it supposed to be, Janis? Cause I've been thinking about a lot of things, so just rip the band aid off and admit that you're cheating on me!" Regina exclaimed as she stood up, Janjs taking a step back as her eyes started glistening with tears she refused to shed.

"I did not cheat on you." Janis said with all the confidence she could muster and Regina gave her a look of disbelief. "Oh. Oh, you didn't cheat. Okay, so explain this." Regina said with a scoff before taking one of the letters and clearing her throat. "Yesterday may have been one of the best times of my life. I hope one day we can go back one day and relive everything we felt by the lake, a day where I can finally call you mine." Regina read the contents of the letter out loud and Janis looked away, her heart no longer swelling in joy from the words she's read over and over. "What am I supposed to make out of this other than you cheating on me!" Regina asked. "We have never done anything like that! I've never kissed her, I've never slept with her and I've never cheated on you!" Janis shouted, the emotions overwhelming her so much that everything was coming out.

"But I wouldn't exactly call any of this platonic, now, would I?" Regina asked, making Janis look down. The blonde girl scoffed, looking away and trying to make sure the tears wouldn't fall as she took a deep breath because it felt like the air was suffocating her. "Do you have feelings for her?" Regina asked, the anger subsiding as the hurt she felt surfaced. The first tears that fell were from Janis after hearing the tone of absolute heartbreak in Regina's words. 

"All we do is fight-"

"Janis, answer the question."

"You barely even look at me the way you used to-"

"Janis"

"For once in such a long time, I finally felt like I was able to breathe-"

"Do you love her, Janis?!"

"Yes! Yes I do, I love her!" Janis shouted, unable to keep it in anymore as the tears kept pouring down both of the girls' faces. "I'd barely call this a relationship anymore, we can't even look at each other for five seconds without going at each other's throats!" Janis said, every late night thought that she's suppressed for the past months finally coming out through her sobs and cries. "I didn't know what to do! It wasn't like I could confide in you anymore because things aren't the same anymore between us! It felt like you didn't even care about me anymore cause you were barely interested in any conversation, so when Caddy came in and made me feel so happy that I forgot how it actually felt, I took it! I took it because I'm not even sure where we're going with this anymore, but the only thing I've been sure about lately is Caddy." Janis said, out of breath from finally letting everything out.

It was silent. Janis was trying to control herself while Regina was speechless, left to process and think about everything Janis said. "So what? You're just going to give up on us like that so you can run away with some fling like a teenager? Janis, we've been with each other through thick and thin, don't tell me you're gonna throw this all away for some random girl." Regina asked, unable to control what she was saying from everything she was feeling. "See! This is what I mean! We're already getting into a fight, we can't even talk about this in a civilized way!" Janis said in frustration. "I'm sorry if I'm a little upset cause I'm not really sure what's worse, you cheating or you loving someone else." Regina said in an exasperated tone. "I didn't cheat!" Janis exclaimed. "Doesn't really make me feel any better, okay! It's not easy hearing about how the girl I've loved for nine years now is in love with someone else." Regina said, her words settling in both her and Janis as the reality of the situation finally hit them.

"Baby, I get that we're going through a rough patch right now, but I still love you with all my heart." Regina said, walking over to Janis and taking her hands in hers, but the dark haired girl shook her head and stepped away, but Regina followed, gently resting her hand on Janis' waist as she cupped the side of her face and turning it so the girl could face her. "We can work on this. We just have to try, this doesn't have to end." Regina whispered, as if saying anything too loudly would cause Janis to run. "Regina, we're not happy. Sure, what we had was great and the time I spent with you could never be replaced by anything because what we had was special, but we can't keep going on like this." Janis said, reaching up to place her hand above Regina's, squeezing it lightly before removing it from her face. "So what? We're just gonna throw away everything we've been through?" Regina asked.

"We're not throwing anything away, Regina. We're just moving on." Janis said, but Regina shook her head. "No, you're moving on. I don't want to move on, Janis. I want you. I'll always want you, I don't want to let go of what we have." Regina asked pleadingly. "Regina, please..." Janis said, stepping away, but Regina grabbed her wrist. "No, Janis. Stay. We still have so much to do together." Regina and Janis gave her a sad smile. "It won't be fair on either of us. If we stay with each other, we'll only do more damage than good. By staying with each other, we'll just hurt each other more and I don't want to do that. I love you, Regina. We both deserve to be happy and we won't get that by staying with each other. We have to stop kidding ourselves." Janis said and Regina let go, rubbing at her eyes and turning around. "Okay, fine. Leave if that's what you want. I don't care, just go." Regina said, screaming at herself internally for letting her emotions get the better of her.

"Regina..." Janis said. "Just go!" Regina asked, not being able to control herself which Janis sigh, giving Regina one last look before grabbing her keys and leaving Regina, knowing the girl needed time for herself. As the sound of the door shutting reached Regina's ears, she let herself stand in silence for a moment before letting out the heart wrenching scream she's been keeping in, tears flowing down her eyes as she gripped her chest as if it would help ease the pain. Her legs couldn't keep her up from how much they were shaking, so she fell on her knees, the screams turning into sobs as she gripped at her hair, hating herself for letting her relationship fall apart without even trying to pick it back up. She knew it, she knew they were destined to break and she just let it happen, too proud to be the one to fix things and now, they were beyond fixable. The thought only made her scream and cry again. Janis leaned against the door, sliding down as she listened to Regina scream and cry, her hand covering her mouth to muffle her own cries as she forced herself not to get up, go back in that apartment and just hold Regina in her arms and take her back. It hurt so, so much, and Janis wondered if any of this really was for the best.  
__________

Cady looked down sadly before turning to Regina and opening her mouth to say something when Regina cut her off. "Don't. I will literally vomit if you start apologizing." Regina said, making Cady let out a laugh. "I really am sorry though." Cady said and the girl rolled her eyes. "Don't be." Regina said which made the girl grow confused. "Why? I basically stuck myself in the middle of your relationship with Janis and hit on her when I knew she was with you. It was a dick move on my part and you should hate my guts." Cady said and the girl sighed. "Yeah, I really should." Regina said before turning to the girl. "But looking back, I remember seeing Janis come home with a lighter look on her face and now I know that she was like that because of you. So as much as I want to hate your guts, I don't. Because you made her happy when I couldn't and I could never hate anyone for doing what I failed to do in the last months of our relationship." Regina said and Cady felt tears sting her eyes, but she quickly wiped them away.

"A lot of the time, I was worried." Cady spoke up, making Regina furrow her eyebrows in confusion. "Worried about what?" The girl asked. "About you. About Janis not fully loving me because deep down I know that part of her heart will always stay with you and it made me worried cause I kept thinking that at one point, she'd realize that I'm nothing compared to you." Cady said and Regina glanced at her, not really knowing how to comfort the girl in that moment. "Don't say that. Don't put yourself down the way you're doing right now. You were good to her and you took care of her through all of this even when she didn't even know you. It's obvious that you care about her and I know from experience that caring for Janis is all that it takes." Regina said and Cady nodded, a comfortable silence falling upon them. "Do you still love her?" Cady asked, turning to Regina who stared off, a soft look on her face before she turned to her.

"I never stopped." Regina said before pushing herself off against the railing. "We should go find Janis. The wedding will start in a few minutes and Damian might break into pieces if we don't find her." Regina said and Cady nodded as Regina walked away. She stayed there for a moment to think about the past two months. It's been a very stressful time, but all that mattered was Janis. She thought about what would happen now. Since Janis remembered what actually happened between her and Regina, would things change? Did she still have a chance to regain their love back, or would Janis go back to Regina like how she feared and expected she eventually would? The brunette looked back to her conversation with Regina, remembering the fond look on Regina's face at the very thought of the dark haired girl and she found herself feeling content with the thought of Janis choosing either of them. Obviously, she'd be ecstatic if she chose her in the end, but if she didn't, Cady knew that Janis would be in good hands.

She looked down to her hand, thinking about what it would've been like if Janis never got hit by that car, how it would've been if they were married by now. Thinking about the dread she felt when she got the call about Janis getting in an accident and the searing pain when she saw the girl's bruised up body, laying there in the hospital bed that made her look so small as the only movement that came from her was the rising and falling of her chest. How happy she was when she was finally able to wake up only for it to all come crashing down when she didn't even recognize her. The shock and horror on her face when she saw the unfamiliar ring on her finger and the absolute devastation on her face when she realized she lost four years worth of memories. Janis didn't have a choice on whether or not she would lose her memories, but now, she did have a choice. She sighed, standing up straight before walking out to go find the girl and find her place for the wedding.  
__________

The door opened to where Karen and the other bridesmaids were setting up and they all turned their heads in shock when the dark haired girl walked in. "Janis." Damian breathed out as Janis looked at them with wide eyes, forgetting for a moment what was happening before sending them all a small smile. "Sorry I'm late." She said and Damian smiled back, walking up to her and pulling her into a tight hug. "Well it's about time." Karen said jokingly, making them laugh as Janis pulled away, her eyes landing on the blonde as her heart warmed at the sight of the girl in her wedding dress. "You look beautiful." Janis said and the blonde smiled, getting up and walking over to the girl before pulling her into a tight hug. "I'm just glad you're back. I'm also glad that Aaron actually wore a suit and not a lion costume." Karen said and the room laughed again while Aaron slumped down in his seat.

"You're just afraid that I'd upstage you at your own wedding." He said and Karen giggled before pulling away. "I'm also glad that you could make it." Karen said and Janis smiled. "Just had to think about a few things. But there was no way I'd miss your big day." Janis said and Karen felt herself tear up at the words. "Alright people, let's all be emotional later, we've got to keep it moving!" Damian said and Janis laughed before settling down in one of the empty chairs as Damian walked up behind her to start fixing her hair. "How are you feeling?" He asked and Janis smiled at the girl through the mirror. "You should be asking Karen that and not me. She's the one getting married after all." Janis said. "Don't worry, I already did and she's trying to act cool, but she's about to explode from how nervous she is." Damian, whispering to Janis and winking at her which made the dark haired girl chuckle lightly.

"But I already know how she feels. What I don't know is how you feel and why you just suddenly disappeared." Damian said and Janis stared at herself in the mirror, thinking about how she should answer Damian's question. She had absolutely no sleep, but Janis thinks she did pretty well in hiding it by both acting and the makeup that took awhile to apply. She had a very emotional night and part of her was still processing what she remembered. So that's how it ended between them? Why can't she remember anything else other than that then? The hole she felt that she had in her life was now half full, but also half empty now that she got the answer to her most contemplated question since waking up. Taking her silence as a sign that it wasn't something she wanted to talk about, Damian continued working on Janis' hair and making small talk which Janis was thankful for.

Once they were finished, Damian started handing out their bouquets save for Aaron before they walked out, taking their place where Gretchen's bridesmaids were as they stood with their partners. Damian took his place next to Regina since both were maid of honors so they were at the back to enter last before Karen. Regina let out a breath of relief when she saw Janis in front of them in the line. Sensing eyes on her, Janis turned her head slightly as her eyes met Regina. She stared at the girl for a moment before the dark haired girl sent Regina a small smile, silently telling the girl that she would be okay and Regina stared at her hesitantly for a moment before nodding. Janis turned back and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath before opening them to the sound of the doors opening, giving them their cue to start walking as the wedding officially begun.


	8. Chapter 8

Needless to say, the ceremony was beautiful. The scenery, the music, the mood, it was all perfect for the wedding. Karen and Gretchen shared their vows leaving a lot of people in tears from how moved they were from their words, but it was no surprise, especially since one of the brides was an author of a number one selling book despite some part of the vows being just emojis, but it did get some laughs. As the vows were shared, Janis couldn't help but look across from her to where Regina was standing, the girl meeting their eyes as they just stared in silence, while listening to the exchange before them. Forcing herself to look away, Janis looked out into the crowd, eyes instantly landing on Cady who was already staring at her. The girl gave her a small smile and a nod and Janis couldn't help but smile back before focusing on the couple before her. Two very different worlds that Janis has lived in, but she doesn't know which one she should stay in.

On one hand, there was Regina who she spent so much of her life with. The girl who has been by her side for such a long time, the girl who she's dreamed about sharing a life with one day. Janis could barely remember a time where Regina wasn't a part of her life. Regina knew Janis inside and out, she knew everything there was to know about her and she loved every part of her, every flaw, every quirk, Regina's love for Janis was unconditional in the same way Janis' love for Regina was. But there was also Cady. The girl she swears she only met the moment she woke up, the girl she saw as nothing more than a stranger. A stranger that, for some reason, loved her with all of her heart. The girl who stood by her side throughout this whole process of figuring things out when she wasn't sure about anything anymore. Cady was so patient with her and so caring, even when she was hurting as well, she always made Janis her priority.

Janis felt herself growing the love the girl more and more with each day she spent with her, and it was such a familiar feeling even though she doesn't even remember feeling that way before, but it was there. But there was no denying that she loved Regina so much that her heart ached every morning when she didn't wake up next to her. It was two different worlds waiting to collide and Janis didn't know what to do. Cady was an experience, she was new and a breath of fresh air that gave Janis a sense of life and a burst of energy while Regina was safe and nostalgic, someone who Janis wanted to settle down and have a life with, enjoying the feeling of content without any weight on her shoulders. After everything, it became increasingly difficult for Janis to see herself with one of them and not have the other. How could Janis see a future for herself without them by her side now? But maybe that was the problem.

Guests were scattered around, chatting at the reception while Karen and Gretchen took pictures with families and friends. It was a very fun time and for a moment, Janis let herself forget about all her problems and just let herself enjoy the happy moment of her two best friends uniting. There were little games she took part in from Damian's request that made her laugh while she just spent time with the three friends she considered family. The dark haired girl knew that she was gonna have to face Regina and Cady at one point, but not now, not when she felt a little bit happy. "Time for the bouquet toss!" Gretchen's mom shouted and all the women excitedly gathered around behind Gretchen which made Janis laugh from where she was standing. "Janis, what are you waiting for? Go!" Damian said, lightly nudging his friend to the crowd. "I think I'm good here, Damian." Janis said with a laugh but the boy simply pouted.

"No way, you're going." Damian said and Janis rolled her eyes playfully, setting down her champagne glass before grabbing Damian's wrist. "Alright, but I'm dragging you down with me." Janis said, making the boy's eyes widen, not even getting the chance to protest when Janis pulled him to the crowd. "Okay, get ready!" Gretchen said, turning around as the girls cheered. "One! Two! Three!" Gretchen and Karen shouted before tossing the bouquets over their shoulders. All the desperate women clawed their way to grab the bouquet, most landing on the floor from how much they were pushing, but in the end, the bouquets landed in Janis and Damian's hands which made the boy gape at the arrangement in his hands while Janis cackled at his best friend's expression. "Oh my god, that's so perfect!" Karen shouted and Damian turned to glare at her. "I told you, I'm gonna live a single and independent life!" He exclaimed. "I'll make sure to quote you on that when I give my maid of honor speech at your wedding." Janis teased and the boy groaned. "Look who's talking. You caught a bouquet too, so tell me, which one will it be?" Damian retorted and Janis's face turned red while Karen and Gretchen laughed at the words.

"I hate you guys." She whined which made Damian scoff. "I've heard that one before. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be at the buffet." Damian said before walking off. "That was fun." Karen said with a smile and Gretchen nodded before turning to face the dark haired girl. "Now, you." She said which made Janis' eyes widen. "Me?" Janis asked in shock. "Yes, you. What are you gonna do about princess charming and your knight in shining armor over there?" Gretchen asked, tilting her head over to the buffet where Regina was talking to Damian and her mom and to the tables where Cady was sitting with Aaron who actually enjoyed the girl's company. "I have been noticing them staring at you a lot today." Karen said and Janis sighed. "Look, I don't know, okay? That's a problem for future Janis to handle." She said, gripping the bridge of her nose with her index finger and thumb. "Janis, you have to make a choice at some point." Gretchen said and Janis nodded. 

"Yes, I know. I just really want to have one day without having to think about this whole thing." She explained, quickly cutting the brunette off when she saw her open her mouth. "I'm not running away from it, I promise." Gretchen closed her mouth, contemplating if she should say something, but settled on sending her friend a hesitant nod instead. The two girls left to go talk to some other guests while Janis settled at the bridesmaids table, looking off to Regina and Cady, losing herself in her own thoughts.  
__________

Cady and Janis walked further into the woods before appearing at a clearing of a river where a dock was settled along with a boat set up for them. "It's beautiful." Janis said in awe as she looked down at the clear water before gazing up at the trees that framed the edge of the body of water. "We'd come here every month to just relax and take some time off of reality. It was your favorite place. You'd always tell me how no matter how many times we'd go back here, you'll never get tired of the views." Cady said, holding out her hand to help the girl into the boat. "I'd see why. This place is so majestic, there's no way you'd get over how overwhelmingly beautiful it all is." Janis said, taking a seat while Cady sat across from her, pushing the boat off the shore and grabbing onto the oars as she started to row it.

"How did we find this place?" Janis asked, looking down and placing her hand into the warm water. "We were just exploring the woods when we found this clearing. Thankfully the old man who let us use his lodge lent us this boat. Now, we can use it whenever we visit here." Cady said, continuing to row, her eyes never leaving Janis who continued to gaze in awe at the beauty around her. "This was a very lucky find. I can't imagine ever wanting to leave this place." Janis said, making the girl chuckle. "I know. You kept trying to convince me to let us move and just live here." Cady said, laughing fondly at the memory. "Who wouldn't want to live here? I can imagine myself settling down with someone I love. Waking up to the beautiful views of the trees, walking around aimlessly, getting used to nature and living in content. It'd be like a dream come true." Janis said making Cady's eyes soften.

"You'd say the exact same thing every time we come here, and even now, I never get tired of hearing it." Cady said which made Janis turn to her, face warming up along with her chest from just the words. Clearing her throat, Janis looked away from embarrassment, trying to play it off by focusing on the forest while stopping the smile that tried to appear on her face. Cady held back her laughter and instead shook her head while continuing to row. "What else would we do here?" Janis asked and Cady smiled as the memories filled in her head. "A lot of things, really. Have picnics on the hill, run around in the empty field, climb trees, take a dip here when it got too hot. Sometimes you'd draw me when I check on you after you've been out on the porch for too long. Sometimes we just dance in the middle room or take a walk at night so we can admire the stars. There was never a shortage of things for us to do, mostly because you'd always find something new you'd want to try." Cady said, looking off fondly.

Janis could see it in her head. It all sounded absolutely perfect, it was like something out of a dream, except Janis actually lived it. It pained her, not being able to remember something that sounded as amazing as that. But she could picture it perfectly in her mind, doing all the things Cady said with the person she loved. Except the person that came into her mind was Regina. All of these were things she longed to have with Regina once they started their life together and it only kept her wondering why she spent it all with Cady and not her. But what Janis found odd was when she tried imagining all those things with Cady, it didn't feel so out of place. It was an unfamiliar feeling, but it felt just as right as it did when she imagined her life with Regina. The girl was definitely growing on her, and a part of her was scared of what that might mean, but she also welcomed it, because it made her feel light.

"You said I would draw you?" Janis asked and Cady hummed in reply, nodding in agreement which made the dark haired girl smile. "Well, I did bring this along with me." Janis said, reaching into her bag and taking out a sketch book which she's been drawing in since the moment they got here. "Would you mind if I do that now?" Janis asked and Cady stared at the girl like she put the stars in the sky because in Cady's world, she was the one who lit up the darkness for her. Cady spent so many years feeling lost, like there was something waiting for her that she couldn't quite find. But she did. She found herself in Janis and ever since she was in a coma, her world had become dark again, lost wandering around with nowhere to go just like before. But now, it felt like it was starting to light up again. "It would be an honor." Cady said and Janis nodded, opening the sketchbook and taking out a pen, starting to sketch the girl while she told the girl stories about her camping trips with Damian over the years. Cady closed her eyes, simply letting her body relax at the sound of Janis' voice as she continued to row the boat.  
__________

Janis let her eyes close from how comfortable she felt in that moment. Her and Regina were at the park, laying down on a blanket with Janis resting her head on Regina's chest while the other girl had her arm wrapped tightly around her waist to keep her close. They had a tiring day the day before and decided to take some time off of work and spend some time together. She was just about to drift into sleep when she felt something lightly hit her side. Lifting her head up, Janis looked down to see a blue bouncy ball with an Avengers logo on it. "What is it?" Regina asked when she felt Janis move, lifting her head to see what it was as well. Janis sat up along with Regina and took the ball, looking around until she noticed a kid running up to her.

"Is this yours?" Janis asked the boy who nodded shyly, eyeing the ball in her hands. "Avengers? You have some pretty good taste. Who's your favorite?" Regina asked the boy with a smile. His eyes seemed to light up at the topic, the confidence building up as he sent them a shy smile. "Iron Man." The boy said making Janis grin. "Hell yeah! Iron Man's my favorite too." Janis said enthusiastically, raising her palm to the boy who gladly high fived it. "I happen to like Thor better, but Iron Man's great too." Regina said, making the boy's grin widen, just happy to see someone having the same interests as him. "What's your name?" Janis asked the boy. "Liam." He said and Janis smiled. "That's a great name, I'll be sure to remember it." The dark haired girl said and the boy smiled. "Well, Liam, I think that's your dad over there waiting for you, I think you should go back before he starts to worry." Regina said, pointing over the kid's shoulder to where a man was waving.

"We'll see you around, dude." Janis said, raising her hand again and Liam high fived it once more before waving to the two and running back to his dad. "What a sweet kid." Regina said as they watched him run off. "Do you ever imagine what our kids would be like?" Janis asked, turning her head to face Regina who hummed in reply. "They're gonna be the best kid ever. Just look at the genes they'd have, they're gonna beat all the other kids from how good they'll be at everything." Regina said, wrapping her arms around Janis' waist as the girl laughed. "But we're not gonna spoil them. We'll make sure they're not gonna be a brat cause they're gonna be humble about how amazing they are at everything which will only make the other kids hate them more." Janis said and Regina hummed in agreement. "But they're not gonna care because they know their worth and they're gonna find amazing friends that don't care about how successful they're gonna be." Regina said and the two laughed.

It was silent as they watched all the other kids in the park have fun with their families, playing around and having fun like how every kid should be at their age. "Do you really think about starting a family with me?" Regina asked and Janis nodded, kissing the top of the girl's head. "Almost everyday, and you know what?" Janis asked, making Regina turn her head towards her. "What?" She asked and Janis smiled, her eyes softening at the innocent look on the girl's face. "You are going to be the best mother in the world. Our kids will be amazing only because they had an amazing mom to teach them how to be that way. I know you'll care for them with all your heart and you'll make sure they'll have the happiest life and I'll be there by your side helping you through it all. Then one day, when we're all grey and old, we'll see our kids become the amazing people we helped shaped and we're gonna die together happy knowing we made one more good person for the world." Janis said in a soft tone as if she was telling a story she's already read before.

Trying to force herself not to cry, Janis smiled at the girl. "I'm so gonna be the cool mom" Janis asked, making Regina scoff. "As if." Regina said and Janis laughed. "Admit it. You're gonna be the strict and scary mom while I'm gonna be the mom that lets our kid sleep past their bedtime just to watch tv." Janis said and Regina rolled her eyes. "You are gonna be such a bad influence on our kid. I am not letting them have the same fucked up sleep schedule as you." Regina said and Janis gave her an amused look. "Oh, so they'll be taking after you?" Janis asked and Regina flipped her hair over her shoulder. "Of course. They'll be unstoppable." Regina said which made Janis cackle. "All the kids in kindergarten will be parting the halls for them just like their mommy." Janis said in a joking tone. "Oh yeah. They'll rule the sandbox and sit on top of those monkey bars looking down at the peasants." Regina said and Janis laughed once more before leaning up and kissing her. "I love you so much. I can't wait to start a life and a family with you." Janis said and Regina smiled before kissing back. "And I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you." Regina said before settling them back on the ground.  
__________

Janis watched as Regina got up when Damian sat down after giving his maid of honor speech which left a lot of people in tears. The applause for Damian settled down when Regina took the mic, making the tent silent so they could listen in on what the girl would say. "Honestly, I don't think I can top that speech. One, because that speech was just so beautifully written and I know that because Damian made sure that it would be perfect, and two, because I think Damian would actually kill me if I topped his speech after he spent so many nights trying to perfect it." Regina said. "Damn right." Damian said and light laughter erupted from the guests. "But I will try my best to make this speech memorable enough for the lovely couple, especially because Gretchen chose me of all people to be her maid of honor and I'd be damned if I messed this up after that." Regina said, looking over to Gretchen who smiled at her before nodding encouragingly.

"I've known Gretchen since we were in middle school and she was the best support system I could ask for. I was never the best friend to Gretch, but she was there for me no matter what and I soon learned that the least I could do was be there for her as well. I knew that Gretchen would protect me with all her heart because she trusted me to do the same. Which is why I was hesitant of Karen at first. Sure, we'd known each other just as long, and Karen is an absolute sweetheart, but you can never be too sure. Especially since what Gretchen had to go through with her relationship before her, but I don't want to ruin the mood by talking about that." Regina said which made Gretchen lightly chuckle at the thought of Jason while Karen rubbed her shoulder comfortingly. "But Karen quickly proved that she would never hurt Gretchen's heart and that's all I needed. I'm pretty sure Karen is incapable of hurting anyone on purpose. One time, she literally cried when she accidentally stepped on a few ants which makes me wonder why I was ever hesitant in the first place." Regina said, making everyone laugh.

"But back on track. A part of me knew Karen was lying when she said that she would never hurt Gretchen, because love doesn't work like that. When it comes to love, it's pretty much inevitable to hurt the one you love the most because it's how us humans work. We hurt the people we love as a defense mechanism because we know they're the ones most capable of hurting us the most over anyone else... I know that from experience." Regina said and in that moment her eyes locked with Janis making the girl's heart speed up. Regina closed her eyes and took a deep breath and opening her eyes to continue her speech, her sight not moving from Janis. "But that's okay. There's no such thing as a love without pain, but the truest type of love is a love where you always pick each other up again and remind yourselves of the love you share no matter what hardship you come across. 

"Because no matter how rough the course is, you'll always find your way back to a smooth road and one day, those rough courses will turn into a simple stepping stone into what will become a beautiful road of love and life." Regina said, eyes starting to water, so she cleared her throat and turned back to Gretchen and Karen in order to compose herself. "And that's what I wish for you two. A true form of love that will last a lifetime no matter how rough it may seem. To the happy couple!" Regina said, raising her glass while everyone else did the same, repeating the girl's words and clapping their hands before continuing on with the night. Janis looked down to her lap, lightly wiping at her eyes while being careful to not ruin her makeup. To any outsider, it would be just any maid of honor speech made to give the best wishes to the married couple, but Janis saw through the double meaning of the speech.

A song started playing through the speakers and Gretchen got up along with her dad for the father daughter dance while Karen went to hers, dancing together before the two men gave their daughters off to dance with each other. Soon enough, people were able to join in and a tap on Janis' shoulder caught her attention. She looked up to see Regina smiling down at her, extending her arm towards the girl who smiled, taking her hand and getting up as Regina lead her to the dance floor. Janis hooked her arm onto Regina's shoulder while her other hand held Regina's with her other hand on the dark haired girl's waist. "That was some speech." Janis said making Regina let out a chuckle. "You think so?" Regina asked with hopeful eyes which made Janis pretend to think for a moment. "I don't know, I didn't really understand what it meant." She said in a teasing tone which made the girl laugh as she twirled Janis around. 

"I don't know if this is the right time to say it. I don't think there ever will be a time to say it, so I'm saying it now. I love you, Janis. I have for a long time now, and even when we broke up, I never stopped loving you. You've been by my side for such a long time now and I don't think I can see myself living a life without you in it. For the longest time, I've been picturing my future and there was never a time where I imagined a future and you weren't a part of it because just imagining it made my heart break. I love you with all my heart, and like I said, there's no such thing as a love without pain and I will endure any of the pain we go through if it means I get to be with you till my last breath. You're the love of my life, Janis, and I want to be with you until the end." Regina said and Janis gave the girl a watery smile, trying her best not to cry as she rested her head on the girl's shoulder. 

A tap on Regina's shoulder grabbed her attention and the two broke apart, turning to Cady who sent the two a smile. "May I cut in?" She asked and Regina smiled at the girl, stepping aside and giving her a nod which was returned. Cady walked over to Janis, giving her a little bow which made the girl giggle, bowing as well before they met in the middle. "I never got to tell you, but you are absolutely beautiful." Cady said, barely over a whisper as they swayed to the music. "Thank you. You don't look half bad yourself." Janis said making the girl smile and shrug. "I doubt it. You've seen me in a dress so many times that I doubt it's any different now." Cady said and the girl smiled. "I know that to you, you've only known me for a short time, but in the four years I've known you, even the first time I ever saw you, I knew that you were gonna be a huge part of my life." Cady started,

"And I knew you were with Regina, but I thought that if I waited long enough, I'd be able to be with you and I know it's selfish. I hated myself for so long for thinking about something as selfish as that, but when I saw you coming to work tired and sad, I just wanted to do everything I could to make the frown on your face disappear, and at one point, I did. I waited for that chance to be with you, and I finally did, but then when you got into that accident, it felt like I lost you. But it didn't matter, because there was a chance for you to get your memory back and I didn't care about how small it was because I will wait for you. I will wait for you for as long as you need. I waited for you all those years ago, I waited for you when you lost your memory and I will wait for you now. So take as long as you need because I will be here for you no matter what. Through thick and thin, I will be here for you because I love you, Janis. There's not a damn thing in the world that can tell me otherwise because I do. I love you and I will always love you." 

In that moment, Janis knew what to do.  
__________

Janis opened the doors and set her bag down, gazing at the new place she would now call home. It was a new environment, but that was exactly what she needed. "Pick up the pace, Damian!" Gretchen shouted as she entered the new apartment, setting down the backs onto the ground while Damian ran up with more bags. "I'm sorry if Janis has more books than you and Karen combined! They're not exactly the easiest thing to carry!" Damian said, quickly putting the box of books down when he felt his arms begin to collapse under the heavy weight. "That's impossible. I have twice as much books than this." Gretchen said as Karen entered the apartment as well and the four looked around. "Love the new place, Janis." Karen said as she settled on the couch that came with the apartment along with Damian. "Thanks, it took me awhile to find." Janis said, pushing aside Damian's legs which were extended throughout the couch so she could find a place to sit.

"When are you gonna start your new job?" Gretchen asked, sitting down next to her wife. "Two days. They're giving me some time to settle into the city, but apparently the studio is already set up and I'll be painting again in no time." Janis explained as Karen leaned against her wife who wrapped her arms around her waist. "That's so cool. It's like new year, new me, but you're actually going through with it." The blonde girl said. "It's not completely new. I prefer calling it a chance to start over." Janis said as she stood up, looking out the window which had a wonderful view of the city. "Well, we better get unpacking if we want to make it to dinner on time." Gretchen said as her and Karen got up. "Let's go take some stuff out of some boxes!" Damian shouted enthusiastically as he got up, following the married couple back to where the boxes were. "Hey guys?" Janis called out making her friends stop and turn to her. "Thanks for supporting me with all of this." The three smiled at the dark haired girl. "Come on, we swore no one was gonna get sentimental." Gretchen said making Janis laugh as she rolled her eyes playfully before starting to unpack.


End file.
